Bittersweet
by LMarieFiallos
Summary: Derek Morgan is SSA at the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, VA having his mind wrapped up in his work and becoming a big part of his team during his time at the BAU, has he forgotten of his past? What happens when one certain brunette beauty resurfaces from his past. Her beauty and her innocence captivated him in college, will the same happen again? Will secrets be revealed?
1. Two Separate Lives

**Had this idea in my mind for awhile and ever since beginning to watch criminals minds, I had an idea for Derek Morgans character, this story is what the idea became. Enjoy! :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Derek Morgan or anyone of the BAU team, Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do NOT own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized wording are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold & Italicized are words are thoughts from certain characters. **

Chapter 1: Two Separate Lives

_The crying broke her heart and pierced her ears, gliding her legs out and off the bed she slid her slippers onto her feet and snatched her white silk robe from the post of the bed. Lightly rubbing the sleep from her eyes she ran off to the alarmed cries, approaching the door, she lightly pushed it open to reveal the sleepless cries of a baby girl in her white princess carriage crib. _

_She softly smiled approaching the edge of the crib seeing her baby girl, move and squirm in discomfort. "Oh, I know baby girl, I know…" she cooed while picked up the baby gingerly and rocking her back and forth, cradled in her arms. _

_She rocked the distressed baby girl back and forth, side to side in her arms, giving the child all her attention "Shhh…" she continually cooed as the child subsided her cries and became more clam in her mothers arms. As the crying stopped, the baby girl began to fade, she began soon a cloud of nothing, being taken from her loving mothers grasp. Becoming frantic the mother cried out "No, Katie...!" she screamed and her eyes frantically searched the room, as if she were to find the clue why her baby vanished into thin air. Tears ran down her face and she cried "No…No…No!"_

"NO!" Nikki arose from her bed with a loud scream, sweat glistening on her face, dripping down her chest. She panted heavily as if she had just run a 5 mile marathon. She sighed looking down at her appearance in the light of the early morning and gently ran fingers over her moist sleeping tank.

This was the second time that week that Nikki had arose drenched in her own sweat from a nightmare, one she was all to familiar with, and one she thought would never fade away. Almost every week for two years she had been having these dreams, never would she confront or speak to anyone about them because she knew all too well why they were coming to her and why she couldn't take them off her mind.

Seven years, its been seven years since the most devastating and heart wrenching part of her life, a part of her life she would sacrifice anything to change, she wanted to go back to that day and know what she did wrong, what she could do to change what had happened. Until this day she still blames herself, in her mind there is nobody else to blame, it was her body and her job to take care of it and anything that consumed it.

She sighed, shaking the thoughts from her mind and got the strength to lift herself up out of bed and walk strait to the bathroom to wash up, trying her hardest to erase this from her mind for the time being and focus on what the day consisted of and that meant going to work and teaching the works of life to the smaller minds. Being a Kindergarten teacher was not always easy, some kids were very uncontrollable, but surprisingly when it came to her they always had a special way with her, almost as if they felt better around her, trusted her more than any other teacher. Nikki had a way with children and this is what mainly cured her interest in becoming a kindergarten teacher, she loved every minute of it and it gave her a great reason to get up and love her job everyday, knowing those children are the one thing that wont let her down in this world.

In the midst of Nicole getting ready for work in Evanston, IL, almost 800 miles away in Quantico, VA, Derek Morgan was well on his way to work receiving an emergency call from Aaron Hotchner at 6:30 in the morning that Friday.

"Alright, I got caramel, mocha, and vanilla latte, who ordered which?" Derek questioned walking into the BAU, Behavioral Analysis Unit of Quantico offices.

Hearing the slight laughs of his co-workers and their bodies approaching his desk where the coffees were set, he slipped off his leather jacket and hung it on the back of his desk chair "Since when did I become the person responsible for bringing coffees?" he paused only to begin speaking again "I mean don't we have a coffee station here in the office?"

"If you want to call that coffee." Penelope Garcia smirked while mumbling to herself.

Derek laughed slightly hearing her comment " Good Moring to you to baby girl."

"Well Good Morning Handsome!" the lively blonde known as Garcia smiled brightly and took a sip of her caramel coffee.

"Finally!" Emily Prentiss spoke walking up behind Garcia to Derek`s desk and grabbing her vanilla latte "I think I drove here half asleep this morning."

Derek lips turned into a crooked smirk, knowing all too well Prentiss's pain, before he had the chance to reply a familiar voice started making his way towards the group "Did you get my green tea?"

Derek turned to the younger male, known as Dr. Spencer Reid and raised an eyebrow "No." he simply stated "Was I ever told of a green tea?"

Before Spencer could reply Garcia cut in front of him and exclaimed "I told you about spencer's green tea, Morgan!"

Derek sighed and ran a frustrated hand over his face "Are we really arguing about this right now?" he turned to spencer and proceeded "Spence why not just make a green tea in the break room?"

"That's not the same." Spencer was about to start off and ramble on about some known facts and knowledge about green tea when Garcia interrupted him with her giggle and a shake of the head.

"Where`s my mocha?" Jennifer Jareau or J.J, replied walking to the group, she looked up at Morgan and smiled "Well good morning Mr. Morgan."

Derek sighed with a slight smile and mumbled, "It could be better."

The group soon got cut short of their coffees and conversations when the Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner interrupted "Hey everyone…" he paused waiting for their undivided attention "Conference room, two minutes!" he spoke while making his way to the conference room.

Everyone began to gather up their things for the new case of the day, the one thing about working for the FBI in the BAU there was never a dull moment and there was always something to do, always busy and it never stops, that's what makes it also more scary. Crime in a never ending cycle and it up to the team to inspect the criminals behavior in every case and by their behavior analysis, or their profile, as the team calls it, this is how the proceed to figure out who their criminal is and what their motives are.

"Mary Kings, 24, found on the streets of Chicago, raped and murdered." Hotchner began "Markings? A cross etched into her right forearm." He finished while pinning up a photo of the murdered girl in a dark alley, near a trashcan on the crime scene.


	2. Skeletons

Chapter 2: Skeletons

**Nikki`s POV**

I let the fresh morning air graze my face, it was a cool morning in Evanston, but then again there were very little days that weren't. Grabbing my shoulder bag from the passenger side seat and my coffee from the center console, I made my way out of my 2009 Acura TSX. Shutting the door behind me I began making my way up the elementary school steps.

Dewey Elementary school, had been so good to me, I have yet to have any complaints about it in the 6 years that I have been teaching little kindergartens, I don't know if I would consider it so much teaching as I would call it caring, although exercise's such as shapes and colors help their development move quicker. I smiled to myself, happy that I was able to spend my time with these children, some of the things they say and their actions towards me are so heartwarming, it makes me feel better everyday walking into class, almost makes me forget about all my past skeletons…_**`makes you feel better about your baby? Where is your baby now huh?' **_my mind fought with me as I suddenly stopped in my tracks and slid a gentle hand inside my denim jacket to place my hand over my stomach. _**'I could still feel your kicks'**_ I thought to myself and then suddenly I got brought back from my thoughts with a vibration in my denim jacket pocket.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to clear my thoughts of the last five seconds, I slid my hand into my pocket and retrieved a vibrating IPhone. Looking a the caller ID, I shook my head and gave a small giggle, it was like I could never escape this girl, every morning I would get her calls. Sliding my finger on the touch screen pad, I put the phone up to my ear and answered while walking into the Dewey Elementary school building.

"Yes gorgeous?"

I heard a slight laugh on the other end and its almost as if I could hear her smile through the phone "Well good Morning beautiful!" she replied with much excitement through the phone "How was your night? Did you get to class yet? I know Damien is probably looking for you."

I smiled and shook my head, approaching my classroom door and holding the phone with my shoulder to retrieve my keys to the door "I bet he is, but nobody is here yet, I have about ten minutes before parents start piling in and dropping them off and my night was fine..." I sighed opening the classroom door and continuing, "I guess…"

Desiree sighed though the other end of the phone "Nikki don't…" she stated softly, feeling bad for her best friend "Its been seven years hunnie, how long are you going to beat yourself up over this?"

I rolled her eyes softly while placing my shoulder bag beside my desk in the kindergarten classroom, which was vividly lined with children's arts and crafts "How do you even know what I`m talking about?"

"Nik, I've been you best friend for how long now?" she paused not really looking for an answer, just simply stating "Let me guess? Another nightmare, Katie was taken from you into thin air? You woke up fighting for breathe and soaked in you own sweat?" she questioned knowing she was right.

I placed my arm on the desk and brought my hand up to her forehead, and sighed in frustration, how can Desiree always be right? I questioned to myself. "Yeah…" I spoke softly into the phone "Its never going to go away, its my fault my baby is not here with me right now…" I confessed to my best friend.

I heard Desiree sigh with frustration yet again "Nikki, please baby, you need to move on, this is not your fault! You did everything right, we were there! We protected you to baby!" she reminding me of my pregnancy days and everything they went through with me.

Before I could answer I began to hear the pitter patter of children's feet making a run for my classroom door, mothers surely behind them, trying to catch up to them, I smiled softly and focused my attention back to the person on the other end of the phone "Listen Des, I need to go, classes are starting soon and I got children here who miss their favorite teacher."

Desiree gave a small laugh into the phone and I knew automatically she was beginning to roll her eyes a my comment "Favorite teacher? Pfft, don't flatter yourself sweetheart!" she commented with another laugh.

I shook my head and laughed along with her "Byeee." I smiled and waited for her reply, only to shut the phone as soon as she replied.

"Hi Mrs. Martins!" I heard the voice of a small boy, I knew all to familiar. Turning around I smiled seeing Damien and his mother Lisa standing by my desk.

"Hey buddy" I kneeled down to his level "High Five!" I exclaimed at the little child brought his hand up to mine and gave it a slap. I giggled as he moved on and ran over o his table, located in the middle of the classroom. I looked up to his mother Lisa and smiled "Seems like he is extra cheery today."

Lisa laughed and shook her head at her outgoing son "When isn't he?" she went over and placed his lunchbox in the specified cubby hole and walked back over to me "Wish I could chat more but I have to head for work."

I shook my head at the blonde beauty "Oh no no, please I don't want you to be late." I exclaimed while opening my folders for the list of things to do today "Plus I need to teach these rugrats a thing or two." I smiled up at her.

She simply returned my smiled and quickly walked over to Damien placing a kiss ontop of his forehead, whispering into his ear. Waving me goodbye she walked out of the classroom. I smiled at the sight. Damien was one of my best kids in this classroom, not that anyone was out of hand, but me and Damien seemed to click in a instant, very outgoing, not a shy little boy by any means, and in my mind he feels so confortable with me, enough to come to me with anything.

"Alright Kids, Do we know what day it is today?!" I exclaimed with a smile, ready to get the day started.

**Derek`s POV**

I sat back in my chair looking over this case, over 40 minutes, we had already been on this case and I feel like we still had gotten nowhere, but that was nothing compared to the time we spent on the beginning of some cases. Mary King, 24 years old, she was a prostitute and she was found in a dark alley beaten to death with some sort of object and a mark of a cross on her right forearm.

"Our Unsub," Hotch began his thoughts "His motive is of religious purposes, he choses victims which he feels are sinners, doing what god deems wrongful."

I nodded his head in agreement and heard the voice of Spencer speak up "Which is why he carves a cross her right forearm to mark them, as if they are being saved and repented by their sins."

"So he thinks he`s doing right by god, or god will so to speak?" J.J questions at the table, while scanning again the crime scene photos in front of her.

"Are we thinking psychopath? Motive being religion?" I now speak up from my own thoughts.

"Precisely, our unsub thinks he is doing nothing wrong, simply doing what god is telling him to do." Hotch jumps in and paces the floors around the table in thought.

"We have to get to him before he marks another victim" I began "Sinners are everywhere, this guy could find a sinner lurking behind ever corner, we all have skeletons in our closets." I confessed not from myself, but anyone in particular.

Hotch nodded and looked around at the team "Alright, looks like we are going to Chicago" he stated clearly "Wheels up in 30 minutes." He finished and turned his back to us beginning to gather up paperwork.

I got up from my place at the table following behind the rest of the group; Prentiss speaks from behind me "Well looks like your hometown is going to get a visit from their hometown hero." She smiled softly.

"Not the best way to get a visit." I sighed and ran a hand through my buzzed cut.

I heard J.J`s voice from a few feet away at her desk "This guy is going to strike again, before we can get to him."

"Well lets hope not, how long did it take for the murder to be called in?" Prentiss questioned.

"An hour, initially after it happened, I believe by one of her business partners." I cut in emphasizing the words business and partners.

Spencer began making his way to the group at desk "You know if we are dealing with a psychopathic serial killer, his next move will be another sinner, possible a prostitute again, and it will be soon, he needs that release, knowing that he has helped god remove a sin from the earth, yet again."

I sighed and shook my head "Great, its not like Chicago had gangs and violence to worry about, now they have a psychopath too."

"Hopefully we nail this guy soon, before he can do anymore damage and celebrate our victory, with the hometown hero." Prentiss smirked and patted my back with a soft laugh.

Not that I didn't want to wipe my brain of all that was going on with this case, it just hit closer to home knowing it was near my family, where I grew up, there were so many problems there already, but nailing this guy was on the top of my to-do list. Everyone is a sinner and that's the issue, he can go after anyone with a past…_**'what if he goes after Ni…God I don't even want to think about it.'**_


	3. Linked

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 3: Linked

**Derek`s POV**

After we had landed in Chicago, we had spent about 20 minutes of our time setting up in the conference room of the Chicago FBI offices, we wanted to set up as quick as possible to get this son of a bitch nailed down and off the streets, and apparently we didn't arrive here soon enough, we had just learned about another killing from the same unsub, another female this one was not a prostitute by any means, just by the look of the crime scene photos and by what she was wearing it looked like this woman was very much a business woman with her head on strait. _**'So why kill her'?**_ I thought to myself before I got brought out of my thoughts hearing Hotchner speaking to an FBI agent whom had just given us the news.

"This just came in an hour ago?" he questioned the FBI Agent known as Samuel Harris.

Harris sighed with a nod of the head "A woman on her way to work found her in the corner of an alley, right near a Victor`s Law Firm." He explained

"Behind another alley?" Hotch questioned "Any markings?"

With a nod of the head, Harris pulled out another crime scene photo and pinned it to the dry erase board in front of the team "A cross", he paused knowing all too well this was the same unsub "On the right forearm."

"Same arm, same placement, same marking." I joined in the conversation and began my thought process.

"Same M.O…" Prentiss stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Do we know who she is, have the identified the body?" J.J looked down at the case file in her hands while taking a seat.

"Lisa Levy, 31 years old and she worked at a law firm, and you guessed it…" Hotch was about to finish his sentence when he was cut off by Spencer.

"Victors Law Firm…" he stated quietly "So why would the unsub kill her so close to work, behind an alley, in the daylight no the less?" he questioned

"Maybe he`s a friend, confidant, someone Lisa knew, Lisa and our previous victim Mary King." I jumped in to clear my thoughts of what I knew.

"Our guys found her I.D on her as they searched the crime scene." Harris interjected

"Morgan call Garcia and get a search started on Lisa Levy." Hotch commanded.

I nodded "Already on it." I stated pulling out my work phone and lifting up off my seat waiting for the ringing to stop on the other line and Garcia to pick up.

"Well hello my hot chocolate." I could hear her smiling through the phone as she said this.

I let a smirk play on my lip "Oh come on baby girl we don't have time for sweet talk." I paused hearing her giggle I continued "I need a search ran on a Lisa Levy, 31 years old in the Chicago area."

"You got it my hot chocolate." I let out a soft chuckle as she continued with her sweet talk. Waiting a couple minutes I could hear her typing as fast as the wind trying to get some information on this victim.

"Ok so your girl Lisa…" she began but I cut her off "Hang on, let me put you on speaker for the team…" as soon as I said this I placed it on speaker and held my phone out in front of the team at the table, including Harris.

"Ok baby girl your on." I stated and soon enough she began "Ok so your girl Lisa Levy apparently worked for Victors Law Firm, she is married and has a 5 year old boy, Damien Levy and here is something you may find very interesting…" she paused typing a few more things in "Mary King worked at that same law firm 3 years ago, but got fired for drug use and also spent some time in the Metropolitan Correctional Center for possession and use."

I raised an eyebrow and the rest of the team seemed pretty shocked "So now we have two victims whom can be linked together in some way" Hotch began

"Yeah and this also explains why Mary King may have became a prostitute, she knew no job would take her after spending time in a prison for drug use, so in order to support her child as a single mother, she began selling her body on the streets." Spencer piped up to state his findings.

Garcia then again chimed in "Could be…"

"Is there anything else on Lisa Levy? Maybe where we can find her husband?" I questioned needing more information.

Garcia hummed into the phone, clearly trying to look for more information "Ah!" she exclaimed "her husband Mark Levy also works at the firm..." she stopped mid sentence almost as if in shock "In fact, he`s one of the partners in the firm."

"What?!" I exclaimed

"Yeah and get this," she continued, "Apparently Mark and Lisa filed for a separation because he claims that Lisa may have also been selling her body for money."

I ran my hand over my face with shock and frustration "This keeps getting better and better…" I mumbled sarcasm obvious in my voice.

"So we have two women, linked in the same structure, could they possibly be linked to the same man?" J.J jumped in with a question.

"How so?" Prentiss followed right behind

"Well maybe Mark became furious with Lisa for her alleged crime, maybe he even thinks this is Mary`s doings, if Mary and Lisa are friends at the firm, that is." She stated and continued "Mark Levy could be our unsub." She finished

We all looked at each other, we knew this could be true, J.J could be onto something. I sighed with a nod of the head "Garcia anything else?"

"Just where her son goes to school," she replied, "Dewey Elementary, he is in kindergarten, his teacher is a Miss. Martins…" she paused and continued once again "Nicole Martins."

My head immediately shot up _**'what? No!'**_ I thought to myself "Wait…Wait… Garcia did you say a Nicole Martins?" I had to clarify

Garcia paused, a bit in worry "Yes, Nicole Martins, 29 year old, Kindergarten Teacher."

Hotch looked in my direction with skepticism "That name mean anything to you Morgan?"

I took a long deep breath and looked up at Hotch "She was my college sweetheart…" I stated barely above a whisper. _**'Where have you been all this time? Now you appear? In the midst of a serial killing?'**_ I couldn't shake the thought that she may be in huge danger, this guy was making his way through her kids mothers, in her kindergarten class.

**Hello Nicole Martines! We recently found out she is Derek`s College sweetheart but why have they not spoke in such a large period of time? Do we know what both Morgan and Martines are ****hiding? How are Lisa Levy and Mary King at all related to Nikki, is there any possible Unsub, besides Lisa Levy`s husband Mark? I want thought & reviews my talents writers! Thank you! Chapter 4 will be up soon, as soon as I see more reviews. :-)**


	4. Unexpected

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 4: The Unexpected

**Nikki`s POV**

I smiled looking around at the kids finishing up their drawings, their last project was to draw an object that meant something to them, most of these children were 5 and 6 years old and I cannot believe the intelligence of some of these children, their drawings are the best I have ever seen from children this age and it may be the neighborhood, maybe the way the were brought up with morals and smarts in their home environments, or it could just simply be that genetics dealt them a great card.

I walked over to Damien's table; he was sitting along with 4 other students, Jamie, Jessica, Ashley, and Mario. Crouching down to the young boys side, I looked down at his drawing and smiled, it seemed to me he drew some sort of circular instrument, maybe drums "Hey Dae, Are those drums?" I questioned smiling up at the boy.

Damien smiled brightly and nodded his head "Yes Miss. Martins." He quickly replied and added "For you" he handed me the drawing.

"Oh thank you sweetie." I smiled and took it in my hand "Do you want to play drums one day?" I began to lead him into conversation.

He nodded his head and turned his body in the chair to face me "I will play for you!"

That just tugged at my heartstrings, I smiled softly and shook my head "Dae…"

I was soon cut off in mid sentence by a vibrant voice coming from the door of the classroom "Well isn't that a sweet talker if I ever heard one!"

"Hi Miss. Desiree…" Damien greeted politely but then looked down at his hands in his lap with embarrassment clear in his body language and tone of voice.

I giggled softly and stroked Damien`s shoulder "Don't you listen to Miss. Desiree, she`s just starting trouble." I smiled and stood strait up from my crouched position, walking a few steps to where Desiree was at.

She laughed and came in for a hug, I smiled warmly and hugged her back, I sighed as we ended the hug, it was another day I felt like I needed a hug from my best friend. "What are you doing here, the school day doesn't end for another hour or so?" I questioned her early arrival.

Her smile once big and vibrant now faded, as if she were here to give disappointing news. _**'She was so happy two seconds ago, what could she have possibly remembered that could be so bad to tell me?'**_ I looked around the classroom to see if all the children were alright, I was about to turn back to Desiree`s worried expression to allow her to speak her story but a small hand began tugging on my denim pant leg, I look down to see big blue eyes and the blonde hair of Allison King.

I looked over at Desiree "Give me a second babe…" she nodded in agreement as I leaned down to the little girls height "Hey Allison, everything alright sweetie?"

The little girl was so very shy, barely spoke, she was not an outgoing child, more introverted and kept to herself, but she was also one of my best kids in this class, never one to start issues at all. She handed me a piece of white paper and just looked at me with big eyes.

I smiled seeing it was the drawing that she had finished, it seemed she had drew a heart, with a string attached to it, maybe a necklace, a locket? "Is this a necklace Ally?"

The little girl gave a small smile and then nodded "Mommy`s." she paused "She wears it a lot." She explained to me.

My smile then faded and my eye trailed back down to the piece of paper. _**'I wonder what her grandmother has told her?' **_Her mother, Mary King, had died last night, it was all over the news already in fact, I'm surprised the little girl hasn't found out. She is already so quiet and keeps to herself so much, I wonder how introverted she will be when she finds out her mommy`s is never coming home. Although I do understand why the grandmother would do such a thing, she needed to keep this naive little girl away from danger and knowing that her mommy is gone forever, is never something to tell a five year old.

"Well its beautiful sweetie, I will post it up on the wall." I tried to force a smile for the little girl and watched as she skipped away to her seat at her table.

I got up and sighed looking over at Desiree and I can tell she had the same sympathetic feeling I did. "She doesn't know about her mother?" she whispered to me.

I nodded "Wouldn't you have it that way if you were the grandmother?" I asked her sincerely.

She sighed with a shake of the head and mumbled, barley above a whisper "I don't know…" she paused as I looked back into her eyes, something was really wrong and I needed to know, now!

"Des, What`s wrong? I know you came here early to inform me of something." I crossed my arms over my chest with a questionable look.

Desiree twisted her keys in her hands and gave a long deep breath, she grabbed my hand and motioned her head towards my desk "Lets…sit…down."

I nodded and followed her to my desk, taking a seat in my chair, while she took a seat on the edge of my desk, seeing as there were really no more chairs around to be found. I took another quick glance around the classroom to make sure all the children were ok and nothing was going on. As soon as I got that confirmation, I turned my head and gave her my undivided attention "Go ahead."

Desiree shook her leg up and down "They found another body, its hit the news already." She whispered and as these words left her mouth I gasped and shook my head in disbelief, and she proceeded "No…that's not the only thing, the body they found was…" she sighed as if not wanting to continue "Lisa Levy`s."

I quickly put a hand over my mouth and bit my lip from screaming in shock, a stray tear fell from the side of my eye "Oh my god…How is this happening?" I questioned, there has never been this to happen, its as if we are dealing with a serial killer, the next question in my head is _**'who`s next?'**_ I let out a long deep breathe and heard Desiree`s voice begin to speak again.

"That's not the only thing, there`s something else you really need to know and I don't know how you are going to take it." She looked into my eyes as if trying to find the answer to how she was going to tell me this. _**'What can possibly be worse than 2 murdered women, whom we know, and are both parents of children in this classroom?' **_my subconscious questioned.

Before I got the chance to open my mouth and ask what else she needed to tell me, she spoke ahead of me "My brother is in town…" she paused "He`s working on this case…" I felt my heart stop and my blood run cold "And if I know my brother and his job, I know he will be coming here to get information."

My head was spinning, I felt like I was going to vomit and my hands began to shake, its as if my brain didn't know how to respond to what she just said, well not so much my brain…my heart. I rubbed my palms down my pant legs and swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and I felt a hand being placed on my right thigh. I looked up into the concerned eyes of my best friend "Nik?" she spoke with a soft and concerned voice.

"Derek is coming? He`s here?" I questioned barley above a whisper as if I, myself didn't want to believe it.

I took another glance around the classroom, I had to keep these children occupied so I could talk more to Desiree about this issue, I needed her here when they came, I could not face this alone, I needed someone who understands. I set my hand on her knee and squeezed it gently reassuring her that I was okay for the moment. I gently got up from my chair at the desk and walked in front of the classroom filled with about 25-30 children.

I tried to put on my happiest smile and got the classes attention "Ok guys!" I began and waited until all young eyes were on me "For the next 45 minutes of class, we are going to watch a movie!" I heard excited scream and voice filled with joy as I said this, 'I only wish I felt that way' I thought to myself.

"Our movie today will be Beauty and the Beast, is everyone okay with that?" I smiled taking the movie out of its case and sliding the TV to the front of the classroom. As I did this I got agreement from every voice in the classroom. I popped the DVD into the player and turned on the TV, making sure it was viewable to everyone.

"Ok guys, we got 45 minutes of movie time, I want everyone in their seats, quiet and paying attention to the movie, understand?" I asked with my finger on my lip for them to be hushed during the production.

When I felt they were all calm and their eyes glued to the Beauty and the Beast movie, I sighed and turned making my way back over to Desiree whom was still sitting and waiting for my on the edge of the desk. I sat in my chair once again and looked up at her, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, she saw this and her facial expression turned to pure sympathy "Oh Nikki, baby…" I shook my head as she kneeled down in front of me "No…don't say anything, I don't want to cry in front of the kids." When I said this she understood and nodded her head.

I took a deep breath and spoke "When they come, I need you to be here with me."

Desiree raised a brow and snickered "Nik are you kidding me?" she paused and shook her head as if in sorrow "No, I cant! How is it going to look that I kept from my brother all these years that I'm still best friends with you and I see you everyday, knowing your whole life story?" she questioned me "He is going to kill me dead and I will be the next body you see on the news!" she exclaimed in a hushed tone putting her hands on her hips.

I have to admit a small laugh escaped my throat at that comment, she saw this and gave a little laugh herself, kneeling back down to my level on the chair "Nik, you wanted us to never tell him where you were again, you remember what you told me the day he left to the BAU and broke up with you?" she asked but she knew all too well I remembered.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, looking up at the ceiling, she was going to make me say it "I told you, Sarah, and Mamma Fran, he broke my heart and I need to protect myself even if it mean giving up the love of my life. I cant let him near me again because I know I will fall right back into his arms and get crumbled into pieces." I ended my quote from that day almost 8 years ago.

Desiree nodded and rubbed my arm in regret "I`m sorry hunnie."

I let a stray tear fall from my eye and quickly, almost furiously wiped it away, it made me mad I was crying for this man! Desiree`s face formed a smirk and I raised my brow intrigued "What are you smirking about?"

"You went from sad and miserable to pissed in .2 seconds because of my brother." She laughed softly "I don't think I've ever seen someone love him as much as you do."

I scoffed and suddenly had no sad feelings in my body, in my heart and in my mind this was my way of creating a wall to never get hurt again "That's all in the past."

"To him it may be…" she started "But to you…" she paused and placed a finger under my chin forcing me to look her in the eyes "You never stopped loving him."

I sighed as she released her finger from under my chin. I had nothing left to say, this was one time where Desiree had beaten me and gave me a loss for words, what was I going to say? I don't know, I`m sure by the look in my eye she can see everything in my soul, its so obvious and that is what I hate about myself sometimes. I`m so innocent you can see everything. _**'He broke you Nikki, don't give him any satisfaction of knowing your still in love with him, he took off with not even one look back, or one word in 8 years' **_she scolded herself _**'but that's because you never gave him a chance to, he had no idea where you ended up'**_ she fought with her mind back and forth until Desiree`s voice cut her from her thoughts.

"Alright I will stay here with you until they are done talking to you." She stated with her hands on her hips.

I raised a brow and bit my lip, why would she have the sudden change of heart? What makes her want to now stay with me and get her brother extremely pissed at her for lying to her all these years?

"If your thinking why I changed my mind," she began and I looked up at her knowing she read my mind "Its not because I wanted to, as much as I love you and feel bad, that's not the reason," she paused a bit when she saw the look in my eyes and continued "Its because," she looked to her side and out the classroom door "They are already here."

**CHAPTER 4! Nikki is now about to face the hardest thing in her life, she is going to have to come face to face with the man she was deeply in love with in college and the man who she also has avoided for the past eight years. Will Desiree help her through this? Thoughts & Comments anyone? :)**


	5. Profile This

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 5: Profile "This"

**Derek`s POV**

_-Flashback-_

"_Derek because you know this girl, she will feel more comforted by you," Hotch began looking up from the table towards me. "I want you and Prentiss on your way to the elementary school where she works at."_

_I sighed and bit my lip with a shake of my head, I was not sure if I was in fear of seeing Nikki or in embarrassment of the last time I ever saw her. "Hotch," I began "No disrespect to Prentiss but may I take this one alone?" I questioned, not wanting to ambush Nikki knowing that she would not be too happy to see me, despite what Hotchner may think. _

"_No, I want someone with you in case of anything," he paused "Just as a precaution, you will be fine Morgan." Hotch attempted to reassure me._

_I nodded my head and clipped my work phone to my belt, beginning to gather up my things, watching as Prentiss did the same. I know very well Hotchner was just following the orders he knew to keep us safe, to go in pairs, but I also know for a fact me showing up there to investigate a crime, not having seen Nikki for 8 years or even tried to look for her would make her happy to see me at all. _

_Hotchner`s voice once again cleared me of my thoughts as he pointed out what the rest of the team would be doing. "Reid, I want you and J.J to Victors law firm and see if you can find Lisa Levy`s husband there, if not see where you can find him or if you can get any information on both victims who worked there from their colleagues." He stated, "Me and Garcia will stay indoors and do some more research."_

_We all nodded in agreement to our posts we were dealt, nobody really had an issues with doing any tasks or going with different members of the team, and in this case, that wasn't even the point, Emily and I worked great together, it's the simple fact of our task which bothers me. __**'I was taught to divide business from personal, just make this another everyday case on the job'**__ I thought to myself as we exited the FBI offices of Chicago __**'Easier said than done…'**__ I thought once again as I jogged to the drivers side of our black SUV, with Prentiss climbing in the passenger side. _

I shook my head from my thoughts of what had happened earlier today and cut the ignition on the car. We just parked in front of Dewey Elementary School, there were no children to be seen outside, they still had another 30 minutes of class time before it was time to let out. I don't remember the last time I was so nervous on a scene, Prentiss knew it, she saw in my eyes that I was worried of this confrontation but mark my words, I was going to be as professional as I always am and not let our past and history get in the way of me trying to solve this case.

"You might want to ease up on the look there Morgan." Prentiss spoke walking on the left side of me.

I looked over at her and saw a small smirk play on her lips and shook my head, if she only knew what had happened 8 years back, she wouldn't blame Nikki for being as pissed as I knew she was going to be when she saw me "I wont let my past get in the way of solving this case." I spoke sternly

"And nobody is telling you too but you cant scare her or piss her off either Morgan," Prentiss explained as we opened the double doors to the Elementary school.

"You don't know the half of this story between me and Nicole." I took my shades off my eyes and began to search for room A15, with Prentiss not far behind me.

"I know you may still love her," Prentiss began "And that's why your so worried about this confrontation with her right now." As soon as she said those words, my blood began to boil, she knows nothing of my past with Nikki and she's here claiming that she can see right through me; I'm not the victim in this case.

"Don't…" I turned around forcefully and stopped Prentiss from walking, looking down for my eyes to meet hers "Don't you dare profile me." I exclaimed in a hushed tone.

Prentiss gave a small sigh and nodded her head softly, I didn't mean to be so aggressive with her, its just Nikki was such a touchy subject and it hasn't been brought up in almost 8 years, I mean from time to time my mom would try to mention her but I would never let the conversation go more than a minute or two. It was too damn hard talking about her, knowing that…I let her go.

Soon my thoughts were cut short by voices, what sounded like a movie, an animation movie being played in the far left corner. Prentiss and I looked at each other and sped walked up to the room where the noises were coming from. I looked to the side of the door on the wall and written on a plaque was the room number A15.

I slowly peered inside just for a moment and what I saw confused me to no end, there were about 25-30 children in the classroom with the attention completely focused on the movie playing on the TV, behind the TV was a woman standing, which could have possibly been Nikki and in front of her was…Desiree?

I suddenly starting putting the pieces of the puzzle together was my baby sister Desiree still best friends with Nikki? Had she known where she was all along? These past 8 years he`s been fed bullshit and lies? I began fuming, I was pissed to no end, and all I want to do was slam my fist against the wall and cuss out my baby sister, I then felt a small hand placed against my forearm almost as if holding me back, I looked to my left and saw Prentiss with a stern look on her face.

"Be nice!" she hissed in a firm tone "We are around children." She stated.

I couldn't take it, emotions were going through my like a knife through water, my rage was running wild, like a rollercoaster in the summer time. I shook my head and took a deep breathe trying to regain my composure, I was here to do a job, to find our unsub and that was what I was going to do!

As I was about to announce my presence, I soon saw my sisters eyes meet mine, she knew I was here, I saw her look away and exchange words with whom was behind the TV set. As soon as words were exchanged between the two, I saw my sister coming towards me and about two feet behind her was…Nikki.

My breath caught in my throat, I felt like I was star struck or something, as if I had never seen a beautiful women before, but this wasn't just any woman, it was Nikki, my Nikki. Her hair still naturally expresso colored and her green eyes as big and bold as ever, giving away her hearts desires with just one look, she had grown into her figure even more, her tight skinny jeans showed off her perfect curves and the lace trimmed tank top she had on showed off her beautiful fair colored skin. I remembered kissing that skin, my lips trailing down her collarbone, to her chest and coming back up to meet my lips with hers… I suddenly stopped myself in a daze of the past, remembering what I was here for.

I cleared my throat and stood with a confident posture and stance, Prentiss right beside me getting ready to remove her badge and I.D from her back pocket. "Ladies…" I heard her begin.

**Nikki`s POV**

"They`re here?" I whispered loudly, worry now obviously evident in my voice, in a few seconds I was about to face the thing I had been hiding from all these years.

Desiree nodded her head and looked my strait in the eyes "Breath, you can do this Nik, I know you can." She inhaled deeply and let out the deep breath, wanting me to follow her actions.

I took a deep breath in and let it out, as soon as I did I looked down at myself and straitened out my tank top, taking one last look at the children, I made my way to the front, walking about two feet behind Desiree. I saw the children were now staring at the two strangers in the doorway and were intrigued at what was about to happen or if there was an issue.

As soon as I looked away from the children and look strait ahead, my eyes met with those I knew all too well. Just looking into his eyes my legs felt like they had turned to J-ello and I felt like I could no longer walk _**'After so many years, you still have this affect on me.' **_I thought to myself, as I looked the Derek Morgan I knew up and down, he looks even more sexy, more gorgeous, and more handsome than the day I met him. He had grown bigger, more muscular, his muscles almost being suffocated by his military green t-shirt. He head closely shaven and a small beard grew on his face, I swallowed the large lump In my throat feeling even more nervous now, knowing my feeling are coming back.

As we approached the doorway an FBI agent with waved, dark hair spoke to us "Ladies…"

Desiree nudged me lightly in the side to warn me that I should speak up, being that I hadn't spoken and looked terribly nervous. I cleared my throat and my eyes soon found their ways to Derek`s, I couldn't for the life of me make out what he was feeling, I know he knew it was me but I just have no idea what he was thinking, I tore my gaze away from Derek as best I could and look over to the FBI agent standing to the left of him "Yes, Can we help you with anything?" I asked with a soft tone in my voice.

"My name is Emily Prentiss and I`m with the FBI…" she introduced herself and then soon after I heard a deep, smooth voice speak right after her.

"Derek Morgan, FBI." Was all he said while flipping his badge open for us to see. I looked over a Desiree who was staring down her brother with a small smirk playing upon her lips. I swallowed another forming lump in my throat yet again. This was going to be fantastic!

"Well Hello big brother!" Desiree exclaimed with a little bit too much sarcasm and faux excitement in her voice.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest 'my god, I remember those arms wrapped around me' I thought then proceeded to scold myself for thinking these things. His blazing brown eyes looked from me and back over to Desiree "We need to ask you ladies a few questions."

"Oh getting professional on me Derek?" Desiree asked, "Okay then, what would these questions be regarding?" she smartly remarked.

The woman who called herself Emily Prentiss saw the look on Derek's face and cut in before Desiree could even say another word, I'm assuming she knew Derek just as well as the both of us and saw how un amused he was becoming. "There have been two killings in the past two days, and both women are parents of students in your Kindergarten class, Miss. Martins." She explained now focusing her attention on me.

I sighed and nodded my head "Just one second…" I asked and turned my body to see the classroom still having their eyes fixated on me. I turned to Desiree "Can you just keep the occupied please?" I asked her with pleading eyes, she wasn't a teacher but she could watch over them for me no problem, the principal knew her all too well already.

Desiree looked over at me, then up at her brother with a warning gaze, as if he better not say something stupid. She then looked back down at me and nodded her head softly, she leaned down and whispered in my ear "If you need anything let me know." I smiled at her statement and nodded my head as I watched her walk to the front of the classroom to occupy the children.

I turned my attention back to both Derek and Agent Prentiss "Lets talk in the hall…" I asked as I grabbed the doorknob, walking out into the hall with them and shutting the door behind me. I looked up with a sigh at both the agents standing in front of me, it was so strange to call Derek an agent, so impersonal, as if we were never anything more than that. "So the two murders?" I was the first to speak up with my question.

Derek has one hand stuffed into his pocket and the other holding his cell phone, which I'm assuming he only used for the job. Agent Prentiss gently reached out and grabbed my wrist, getting my attention "Did you know either of the victims, Lisa Levy or Mary King?"

I pushed my expresso locks back away from my face and nodded my head "Yes I knew both of them as their children attend my class, however I personally knew Lisa, her son is Damien and he is one of my best kids, not that anyone else isn't but she would often stay a couple of minutes during the morning to speak with me."

"And Mary King?" Derek asked from the right side of me and my head shot up at his voice, I cleared my throat "I knew her but after having gone to jail for the drug charges, she never stepped foot in the school again, Allison`s grandmother always comes to pick her up and drop her off." I explained.

"Allison?" Derek questioned again.

"She was Mary Kings daughter." I explained with a soft voice, sympathetic to the children.

"One last question, did you ever see Mrs. Levy or Mrs. King with anyone strange around the neighborhood? Anything out of the ordinary?" Agent Prentiss asked me.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and began my thought process; nothing was ever out of the ordinary with those two, other than Mary King's violations. "No, nothing I can think of."

Agent Prentiss sighed and nodded her head pulling out a card from the inside pocket of her blazer "Well if you think of anything, please don hesitate to call us."

I looked up from her and then to Derek, my eyes froze on his, I felt like I would melt right into his gaze, I couldn't pull myself away, I was looking into the eyes of the love of my life, the man I had lost, the man who didn't look back, I finally pulled away from his gaze and cleared my throat "Yes of course." I said softly.

"Thank you Miss. Martins…" Agent Prentiss smiled at me before turning her back and beginning to walk away, however Derek did not follow he just stood with his one arm at his hip, almost as if trying to look inside of me.

"Morgan!" Agent Prentiss called from behind "Lets go."

Derek tore his gaze from me only to look back at his fellow co-worker "Give me five minutes Prentiss." He spoke, his tone softer and less violent.

The agent sighed almost as if she did not want to accept to leave him alone with me for two minutes, I gave her a soft smile, letting her know it was okay, she nodded her head and looked back up at Derek "Five Minutes, no more no less…" she replied slipping on her sunglasses "And I'm counting Morgan." She stated walking away to the outside of the school building.

I looked down at my black bootie heels, kicking them on the tile floors of the school, I was as nervous as a teenage girl being alone with Derek now, but why? "What so your going to admire the tile floors all day long or what?" he asked me as I looked up to see a small smile playing on his lips.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked softly "Better yet, what do you want me to say, what should I say to you Derek?"

He took a few steps closer to me, I closed my eyes taking in the scent of his Armani cologne, it was intoxicating on him and I felt lightheaded jus being next to him. I stared him in his beautiful brown eyes, watching as he stuffed his left hand into his pocket and looked away from me, almost as if he were embarrassed "Nikki…" he began but I cut him off immediately "Its Nicole."

His head shot up as soon as I corrected him and a smirk grew on his lips, he snickered and laughed, a laugh of shock or astonishment "Oh okay, you're going to do that." He licked his lips, the same smirk still plastered on his face. God that smirk could get him into such trouble, I would jump in his arms and wrap my legs around his waist every time he gave me that smirk in college. I scolded myself for those thoughts once again and shrugged my shoulders "I'm not doing anything, I'm just standing in the hallway with a man I thought I knew, while his colleague is waiting outside…" I paused and licked my lips "According to who you only have three minutes, by the way."

Derek sighed running a frustrated hand through his hair "Nicole we talked about this 8 years ago before I left…" he paused brining his voice down and walking closer to me, the distance between my body and his only a mere inches and now I was really breathing hard. "I told you why I had to do it, you knew I would take you with me everywhere in my heart, I always think about you…about us." He confessed.

I looked up into his eyes, with tears threatening to fall in mine "That's no excuse to leave me and break my heart." I whispered

He sighed frustrated and slammed his arms at his side "So what did you want me to do Nik? Huh?" he raised his voice now "Stay here just for you?!" those words stung me like a bees stinger to my flesh "Give up on my dream of being in the BAU?!" he asked me with anger.

I was done listening to his ramble and rage; this is what he came back here to do? This is what he wanted to talk to me about? Oh okay then he was going to get an earful and he wasn't going to speak until I was finished because I was determined now. Determined to show him how stupid his decision really was, not his decision on going to the BAU, I wanted him to, I prayed that he got offered that job, but his decision on giving up on us and thinking that we could never have a relationship like that. "NO!" I screamed, my voice just as loud as his, he froze and seemed a bit taken aback by my tone.

"I never ever wanted you to give up on that dream, I prayed and hoped they would offer you a job because I knew what it meant to you," I began spilling my heart "You gave up on me, on us! You left thinking there was no way our relationship could survive the long distance or the work and life balance between personal life and the FBI." I explained with tears staining my cheeks now "So if you don't know what I wanted then that`s your fucking issue Derek." I hissed trying to keep my voice down while keeping a firm tone "You're a profiler, so profile this." I stated wagging my finger between both of our bodies.

I wiped my tears forcefully off my face and gave a soft sniffle, I turned around making my way to the door of the classroom when his voice stopped me in my tracks "Nikki, baby…wait," His deep smooth voice was as soft as ever and his hands grazed against my wrist trying to stop me, his hands were rougher, the hands of a hard workingman. I coughed slightly and cleared my throat turning my head to meet Derek`s gaze "I did wait…and don't call me baby." I said barely above a whisper and tears threatening to fall from my eyes once again. I gently pushed his hand off my wrist and took one last look in his eyes while turning the doorknob on the door "Bye Derek." I mumbled and stepped back into the classroom, with 5 minutes left until the school day ended.

**Comments? Thoughts? What do you think? We are getting to know a little bit more of what Nikki and Derek were all about but there is still more left to figure out. What happened to her seven years ago? Wait to find out :) **


	6. Seven Years Suffering

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 6: Seven Years Suffering

**Derek`s POV:**

-Later that Night-

"We`ve got an eye on Mark, he`s just leaving the law firm now." I informed Hotch through the headset plugged into my ear.

After my conformation with Nikki at the school, I was left literally paralyzed and it took all I had in me not to pursue her further, I wanted to talk to her, I needed to talk to her. This wasn't right, it wasn't right she felt this way…the way she was acting towards me was something never saw in her. Her green eyes were filled with emotions of pain and anger and it angers me that I was the one who did that to her. Aside from that knowing the fact that my family new where she has been these last eight years and have been spending time with her, gets me even more furious, they knew how inseparable we were in college and how much that girl meant to me, so why would they lie? I couldn't help shake the fact that she had asked them too.

Being left in such a condition after that confrontation, it was hard to focus on this case but I had to, I had to push my feelings aside, women were getting murdered because it was some guys way of helping god by removing the sins and evil from this world, what a way to do it. Me and Prentiss sat in the black SUV lurking outside Mark Levy`s house, he was number one on our suspect list, according to J.J when her and Spencer went to pay him a visit at the office, he was very defensive, claiming that he still loved his wife, why would he do such a thing to her. J.J also noticed he had rubber white gloves sitting in his trashcan, now why would he need those? Accordingly to the teams profile of our unsub he fits the description to a T…white male, 35-40 years old, very handsome, personable, and has some sort of connection to the two women. J.J also found out that Lisa and Mary were very good friends while Mary worked here and he began having suspicions that Mary began putting ideas in Lisa head about selling her body on the street. This gave us an even better reason to suspect Mark; he could be lashing out on both the women who cheated on him and the women who encouraged her to do so.

As Mark began to pull his car out of the law firms parking lot, we were not too far behind him to follow him to his destination, we needed to know if he was after another women or what his plan was exactly. "Morgan, we ran a search for women whom Lisa kept in contact with in the law firm and at her child`s school and all women came up clean, no past drug use or prostitution." Hotch spoke from the other end of the ear piece.

I nodded my head in thought "However we wont know if these women have ever cheated on their spouses or partners and that seems to be what our unsub is after, once he assumed Lisa was doing what Mary was doing on the streets, he wanted to punish every women for it."

"Keep following him, make sure he does stray far from his house, we don't need another victim showing up," Hotch began "We have dna from the crime scene, it seems like Lisa didn't go down without a fight, we found skin under her finger nails and a drop of blood on her face, the labs seem to think its not her blood. So once those results are in we will be able to nail this guy." Hotch finished his statement while I just nodded along and parked the SUV outside of Marks home.

"Seems like he`s not out doing gods will tonight…" Prentiss observed from beside me

I sighed and took a quick glance at her and then back out the window, watching the possible unsub step inside "We don't know for sure…"

The air was thick full of tension and Prentiss seemed too quiet, almost as if she was in thought, it was almost becoming of awkward air inside the truck, I looked over at her with a shake of the head "Go Ahead and ask, I know you want to."

Prentiss gave a soft chuckle and shrugged her shoulders "Ask What?"

I licked my lips and cocked an eyebrow giving her a look as if I knew exactly what she was thinking. I heard her give a sigh and clear her throat "Well, I mean there seems to be so much tension between you and Nikki and you both have a history together, I was just wondering more about it, maybe I can help?"

"This is not the time nor the place for that conversation…" I explained with a low voice and turned my attention back out the window "besides I don't need help…" I stated firmly finishing off the conversation. _**'What I need is to have a serious talk with Nikki'**_ I thought to myself.

**Nikki`s POV: **

I sat on the couch twirling my fingers around the wool material of the blanket, with a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and my head being held by the other hand propped up by my elbow on the back of the couch. I couldn't get Derek out of my head for the life of me. When I saw him today everything came back, my feelings, my emotions, the pain I was in when he left, and the suffering I endured a year prior to his departure. I rubbed my belly thinking of that day seven years ago, It was imprinted in my head as if it just happened yesterday.

_-Flashback-_

"_AHHHHH!" I screamed in the most unbelievable pain, pushing as if my life depended on it, sweat drenching my body, my hair sticking to the sides of my face as I fell back on the hospital bed in tiredness, discomfort, and frustration. I wanted this to be over, 21 hours of labor was long enough! I thought she never wanted to get out of me._

"_Nicole you have to keep pushing hunnie, nothing is happening." My doctor exclaimed over my cries of pain._

_I shook my head and cried in pain "I CANT, I CANT NO MORE!" I screamed and sat up in more pain, feeling another contraction coming on._

_I heard the doctor screaming over me "You can do this hunnie, another contraction in 10 seconds, 10…9…8…"_

"_AHHHH! 10 SECONDS MY ASS!" I screamed and gave the biggest push, I was so tired and so weak, I gave the biggest and hardest push I could in those last five seconds._

"_Ok, Ok good job girl, we got the legs…the stomach...the head…and she`s out!" the doctor exclaimed but something wasn't right, Katie wasn't crying, I couldn't hear her, why wasn't she crying?_

_I tried to regain my breath and my composure as I sat up, I looked at my doctor "Wait…why isn't she crying?! Is she okay?!" I asked worry lacing my voice as stray tears fell down my face. _

_I saw the doctor hand Katie off to one of the nurses and whisper something in her ear, worry set in my heart even more, something did not feel right at all. The doctor lifted from the stool and walked towards me "Just calm down Nicole..." she began and proceeded with a long sigh "The baby seemed to have the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck for a long while in your stomach but we are going to do everything possible."_

_I began to shake and tears ran down my face like a waterfall, I felt like the ground was being lifted from underneath me. I couldn't think, couldn't speak, I just wanted to see my baby; I wanted my baby in my arms. I looked up to see my doctor and the nurses huddled around my baby girl, trying to help her in every way possible. _

"_Sweetie…" I heard the doctors voice and soon enough she was coming toward me with the most sympathetic look in her eye, she place a gentle hand on my shoulder. I shook my head, tears springing back out of my eyes, my lip quivering uncontrollably; I knew what she was going to say "No! No!" I screamed, "I want my baby! Give me my baby!" I yelled as if nobody could hear me._

_She sighed and put both her hands on my shoulder trying to stop me from moving, she looked into my eyes "Sweetie, the umbilical cord cut too much of her breathing, she was choked by it, there is nothing more we can do…" she responded softly to me._

"Nikki..Nikki..NIKKI?!" Desiree`s voice automatically relived me from my horrific memories of that day.

"S-Sorry…" I whispered and took a sip of my hot chocolate, not making any eye contact with her as she sat down next to me on the couch.

She ran a hand gently through my ear and tucked it behind my ear "What were you thinking about?"

I slowly turned my head looking over at her, I can imagine my eyes were watered with tear threatening to fall, I cleared my throat and shook the tears away "Nothing... just dazed."

"Now isn't that bullshit if I ever heard it?" she chuckled softly.

This made me let out a soft laugh and close my eyes letting my head fall back to rest on the back of the couch "Katie…" was all I said

Desiree sighed and I felt her lean her head on the back of the couch, following my actions from seconds earlier "Nikki, you need to talk to someone about this, its not your fault!"

"But I already talked to…" Desiree cut me off from finishing my sentence.

"And I don't mean my mom or Sarah…" she turned her head to me and placed a hand on my thigh to get my attention and when I looked over at her she spoke "I mean Derek."

I immediately shot up from my seat on the couch, placing my mug of hot chocolate on the table "Have you gone nuts?" I asked her crossing my arms over my chest, standing a few steps away from her.

She sat up on the couch looking me dead in eyes "What are you never going to tell him what happened? Like it or not Nikki you guys were inseparable at one point and you cannot sit here and tell me that you still don't love my brother!"

"One no I wasn't going to tell him because I never thought I would see him again considering it seems he`s doing great without me for the past 8 years," I began "And two I-I-I don't…" I whispered the last part almost unsure of my answer, knowing that I was lying to myself, why was I lying? She knew I loved him that I would never stop loving him, it`s so obvious.

She snickered and got up off the couch and stood face to face with me, with her hands on her hips and a smirk spread on her lips "Whom are you trying to convince? Me? Or yourself?" she questioned

"You're changing the subject…"

She changed her stance and let both her arms rest by her sides, her smirk changed to a genuine smile and she said "No…you are." She laughed softly and reached out to rub my shoulder "Listen please stay here tonight, my mom already has the guest room made up for you."

I sighed "Wha-…Why?"

Desiree searched my eyes, knowing I didn't want to be alone, especially after all the nightmare I had been having "Because you need to be with family…and like it or not sista, we are family!" she stated with a big smile spreading on her lips.

I groaned and let my head fall back with a small smile playing on my lips, I loved all these girls like they were family of my own, and I knew that I could always trust them with everything "Finnnnnne" I gave in and she smiled a triumphant smile, grabbing my hand and leading me back towards the couch, and saying something about watching a movie, I just nodded my head in agreement too bus with my thoughts to speak up at all. _**'Was she right? Did I need to talk to Derek?'**_ I twisted my hair in my finger and thought again _**'I don't know how I can face him, every time I see him so many emotions come out, anger, hurt, pain and the worst one…love.'**_

**Derek`s POV:**

This guy wasn't doing anything tonight and we had no more leads on any other possible unsubs, me and Prentiss were getting deathly tired but I swear I was not going to rest until this animal is in handcuffs. Hotch`s voice on the ear piece shook me out of my daze "Morgan, I think its time you go to the hotel and get some rest, you and Prentiss."

"No, no Hotch I'm fine… we need to nail this guy." I responded while taking a glance at Prentiss.

"Morgan!" he began "That wasn't a request, that was an order."

I sighed and licked my lips in frustration "Got it."

"I will be going out there with Rossi and we will cover his house for the night." He explained "Garcia was sent home but J.J and Spencer are working at it here still."

"Alright we will wait for you guys then and head out once you get here." I explained in approval and after confirmation his voice was gone. I sighed and let my head fall back on the headrest of the seat.

"He ordered us to go get some rest?" Prentiss questioned

I looked over at her with a nod "Yeah, and I think I`m going to see if I can stay at my moms tonight, no use staying at a hotel when you got the comfort of you moms home." I gave a small smile.

I heard Prentiss laugh as I dialed the phone "Lucky you."

**Desiree`s POV:**

"Oh hey baby, your still at work? Its late."

I heard my mom say this over the phone and I raised a brow in question, that was definitely Derek but why was he calling my mom and this late? My eye widened realizing just why he would call our mother this late. I ran from my bedroom into the kitchen and motioned for my mom to mute the phone.

"Desiree what is it?" she questioned placing her finger on the mouthpiece of the phone.

"Is he asking to stay over here while he`s here working on this case?"

She sighed and nodded her head "Yes but what am I going to say, no?"

I sighed and ran a hand over my black strait hair "Mom, Nikki is going to freak."

I saw my mom look around the house "Where is Nikki anyway?"

"She fell asleep on the couch during the movie." I responded placing one hand on my hip and the other resting against the kitchen doorframe.

"Well I don't know what to do then baby." She replied almost running out of questions.

I sighed and bit my lower lip, Nikki would be pissed if she knew we let Derek stay here while she was here staying the night but there was nothing to do, he was my brother he was going to get suspicious about things and that would be even worse, we don't need him coming in this home thinking he need to profile us. "It`s going to be a long morning for breakfast tomorrow…"

My mom raised an eyebrow to me "Are you sure?"

"Hey if Nikki will kick anyone's ass for allowing this, it`s going to be mine." I gave a soft chuckle "Just tell him to come." I kissed my mom cheek and walked right back into my room as she continued the conversation with my brother. I could have very well walked into the living room and woke up Nikki and tell her to go home but she needs to stay here, she hasn't been sleeping and she needs to be around people she trusts. I just hope I wont end up dead tomorrow morning. I laughed softly to myself and got back under the sheets of my bed.

**Comments and thought my talented writers? Are Derek and Nikki finally going to have that talk they both really need? Will Nikki ever confess she still and always has loved Derek and how does Derek now feel about Nikki, after all these years? Maybe we need more just to find out! :-) **


	7. The Unsub

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 7: The Unsub

**Nikki`s POV**

"NOO, MY BABY!" I screamed and with that scream I jolted upright from my laid position on the couch. I lifted my hand to my forehead and felt it glistening with sweat, I looked down at my tank top and basketball shorts, my tank top trickled with beads of concentration on them, or at least that's what I felt was on it, I could hardly see as it was pitch black in the living room. I took a long and deep sigh and swept falling pieces of hair from my face back to its original place on my head.

Lifting the blanket from over my figure and gently rubbed my eyes and squinted looking around the house, I lifted from the couch and walked over to the other side of the room, flicking on the light switch to light the entire living room, making sure that I was making no noise for the others sleeping in the house. I need to calm down and take a breath, after these nightmares it always takes awhile for me to get back to sleep and normally a glass of water and an episode of the nightly shows that are on is what puts me back to sleep. I pressed the button on the side of my phone, which made it light up instantly and the time blinked in my face 12:03AM.

It was still early meaning I must have fallen asleep about an hour or so ago on the couch, I wasn't asleep for too long. I poured myself a glass of water and took a long drink, setting the glass down on the counter top near the fridge I looked down at my belly and gently brought my hands up to it and began rubbing small circles around it as if my baby were still in there "Its like I can still feel you…" I whispered to myself. I took another sip of water and the thought passed my mind about going to see Katie`s grave site tomorrow morning after breakfast, and maybe I could take Desiree with me. Even though Katie hadn`t had hours to even live a grave site was the best thing to show respect and honor for my baby girl and I make it a habit to go see her every weekend, when the still birth first happened I was there everyday but momma Fran became very worried and said it wasn't good for me to keep reliving it.

Steps being heard by the porch on the front door stopped my thoughts immediately. I set the glass of water down again and my facial expression turned to worry, who would be coming here at 12 mid-night? I then heard the lock turning on the door, I gasped and quickly opened the cabinet drawer and grabbed a knife for protection…with what`s been going on lately you never know, it gave me the chills thinking about what they did to Lisa Levy and Mary King, I wasn't going down not protecting myself.

The knife shook nervously in my hand as I slowly continued towards the door, I stood behind the wall that was connected to the staircase and waited for the door to open. I heard the creek from the door being swung open and a long sigh come from the intruder, I slowly peeked around the corner wall to see if I can make out the figure but it was very dim from the light being shown from the kitchen and I could still not see to well. I had to do something; this guy was going to attack anyone of us in the house if I didn't. it was now or never!

I came from behind the wall with my knife in my right hand extended forward "Who`s there!?" I exclaimed

"Hey Hey Hey!" the voice paused but I've heard that voice before, in fact I could pick it out of a line up "Hey! Its Derek!"

I put the knife down to my side and let out a long deep breath as the light turned on and shown through the living room. I ran a frustrated hand over my hair and looked up into the most beautiful brown eyes of Derek Morgan. He inched closer to me and grabbed the knife from my hand with his right hand while the left hand rubbed my arm "Damn girl, you gave me a heart attack!"

I gently shrugged his hand away and wrapped both my arms around myself as if I were afraid for him to see me in my sleep shirt and shorts, I cleared my throat and looked at the ground, unable to keep eye contact with him afraid knowing my heart would start racing under her gaze "What are you doing here?" I asked softly

He laughed softly, almost sarcastically "Well this is my mothers home, I think I would be allowed here, don't you?" he spoke with a gentle tone while turning around and making his way into the living room.

I decided to follow him knowing I had no other choice, did Desiree and momma Fran know he was coming here? I wondered to myself. I kept my gaze down on the floor as he sat down on he couch, it was extremely quiet for two minutes strait, uncomfortably quiet as if we didn't know what to say or we were waiting for the other to begin talking. I felt his eyes on me the whole two minutes, I swallowed the lump in my throat and finally looked up at him and when I did he was just gazing at me as if he was almost trying to inject my image into his brain, what I was wearing, what I looked like, and the worst part how I was feeling.

"Those eyes…I have yet to see those eyes smile the way they used to." He let a small smile spread on his face as he said this.

"Yeah well…" I began grabbing my hooded sweatshirt off the back of the loveseat sofa on slowly pulling it on and over my head "There has been a lot you haven't seen."

He raised a brow and leaned over resting his elbows on his knees "Oh and I supposed that's my fault?"

I bit my lip and took a seat on the loveseat by myself "Well if the shoe fits…" I replied metaphorically.

He shook his head with a soft chuckle "Oh ok, so I was the one who broke complete contact with you?" he asked "I was the one who never contacted you, never let you know where I was or who I was with for the past 8 or so years?" he shot my a questioning look.

I just sighed and fidgeted in my seat "You gave me no choice Derek…" I began biting my lip looking towards the kitchen at nothing in particular just not into his gaze "I felt hopeless, I felt like I did something wrong for you to leave to the BAU and not even give our relationship a chance to work."

"Nikki, do you understand how hard and how time consuming this job is? I don't know when I may get a free day, I don't know the next time I would be able to spend a couple of minutes on the couch with my girlfriend, the BAU takes your life, most men in there are either married and have issues, are divorced or have been single for that exact reason Nicole." He explained thoroughly.

I let a single tear roll down my cheek with my face still turned to the kitchen, I didn't want him to see me cry, it was like giving in to my fears, my fears of allowing him to know how much I still ache for him. "Stop thinking like a damn profiler and think like the man I fell in love with…" I exclaimed running my fingers through my hair. "You didn't give us a chance to see if we could fail or succeed, having faith in us that we would succeed would have meant the world to me but you didn't even want to try, there was no reasoning with you." I whispered in pain.

"Nikki…" he said softly and I heard his footsteps coming towards me "Why wouldn't you come to me and tell me these things?" he kneeled down beside me, my face still not being shown to him.

I sniffled and let more tears roll down "I shouldn't have had to…" I replied softly

He sighed and let his head fall down on my lap, I was going to move away but I was too weak and tired I just let it rest there "Baby…I`m so sorry" he looked up and I felt his finger graze the bottom of my chin "Please look at me…"

I sniffled and turned my face to face his, my eyes met his beautiful brown ones and even in times of heartache I still felt like I could melt just looking into them. My eyes were drenched in tears and most likely bloodshot, he looked at me with his eyes in pain and his thumbs padded the tears away from my cheeks "Baby, please don't cry because of me."

I gently tugged his hands away from my face, I couldn't let him know how weak I was or how much I missed him, I couldn't let him see my true emotions, I had to be strong in order not to get hurt again. I slowly got up off the loveseat couch and walked away from him "I think I`m just going to go home and spend the rest of my night there."

He sighed and I could feel his eyes on me "Nikki, come on you don't have to leave, why must you run from me?"

I wrapped the sweater tighter around me and licked me lips, turning to face him "I am not running from you Derek…" I paused, grabbing my purse, my keys, and my cell phone "I am protecting myself."

I said this as I walked through the living room to the hallway and as I reached for the door knob to open the door I felt Derek`s hand wrap around my arm and pull me back a little towards him, he looked me in the eyes, his eyes giving me a questioning look "Protecting yourself?" he paused and gave me a confused look this time "From what exactly?"

'Loving you unconditionally' I thought to myself while giving a long sigh "Listen Derek, I really am going to go now, just please tell your sisters and your mom I had to leave in a rush." I stated removing his grip from my arm and walking out the door, leaving Derek alone to his thoughts.

**Derek`s POV:**

-The Next Morning-

I woke up to the ringing of my phone on my bedside. I groaned turning over in my place on the bed and reached for my cell phone, before flipping it open I saw the time and it read 6:30AM, I sat up in bed with a long sigh, it was Hotchner. "Morgan." I replied wearily.

"We need you here by 7:30, something has come up, we may have been wrong about our unsubs profile." He explained

I raised a brow and got up off the bed "You think it may not be Mark Levy?"

"No but there is a possibility we got his motives all wrong, you really need to get down here."

"Be there in 15" I replied while flipping my phone shut. This case was just getting worse and worse, one thing led to another and it changed the whole script, what exactly was Mark Levy`s idea in killing these two women? Did we even get the DNA back to make absolute sure it was him, I mean police can only hold him for 72 hours and a day has already passed.

I quickly got dressed In the first thing I could find and placed my glock 35 on its holster and my cell phone on the other side it its holster. I walked out the bedroom door to find my mother sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and some toast with butter on the table. I smiled at the sight "Mornin` mama."

I saw my mother look up at me and smiled, I leaned down and she placed a kiss on my cheek "Hey baby, how's this case going?"

"Could be better" I sighed grabbing my file on the case that was placed on the counter. "I wish I could stay longer but I'm in a real rush mama." I explained as my feet took me to the door.

I heard my moms feet following behind mine "Ok, but Derek wait a minute…"

I turned around with one hand on the door "Yeah?"

My mom looked me in the eyes, I knew that look, and the look meant she had something serious on her mind "Where is Nikki?"

I sighed and licked my lips, almost in frustration, I knew this question would come up "Shit, momma I don't have time for this right now." I spoke about to head out the door.

"Derek Morgan get you butt back here" I turned around with one foot at the door "I'm going to be late!" I replied to her.

She came a bit closer to me and searched my eyes "Derek you treat Nikki with respect understand me? You were not here for 8 years and all the shit she`s been through, you are my son and I love you but what you did, leaving like that and not giving your relationship a chance was wrong."

I didn't say anything I just sighed, looking down at the ground almost embarrassed of myself but then I remembered and my head shot up "Wait a minute!" I paused "What about you Desiree and Sarah? Knowing all about where Nikki was and spending almost everyday with her but yet none of you could tell me about her."

I heard my momma sigh and switch her coffee cup to the other hand "Those were Nikki`s wishes and we resected them."

I just shook my head in disbelief "Maybe if you hadn't, things would be different." I said and she just stood there knowing this may be true and there was nothing she could do about it now. I spoke up again "I gotta get to work momma, ill see you later."

"Alright be safe…" she replied gently rubbing my arm before I left and got up in the black SUV.

15 minutes later I pulled up to FBI headquarters to meet up with the team. I walked in my coffee in one hand and the files for the case in the other, Hotchner and Agent Harris were discussing some things pertaining to the case and Spencer was sat on a desk with Prentiss and J.J writing some notes on the dry erase board.

"What do we got?" I asked walking up to the group.

J.J had her back turned to me but suddenly whipped around hearing my voice, she nodded her head and walked over to the phone "We have Garcia on line 1."

I walked closer to the phone and spoke "Talk to me baby girl."

"Alright so it seems as if our unsub has been contacting someone through email and here is the tricky part, he keeps emailing her these outrageous emails such as "I`m watching you and I love the way your hair falls in your face when you read" he has been watching this this girl and stalking her." Garcia finished

J.J followed up behind her saying "And that is not all, apparently he has a notebook that he writes her every step, we found hidden in his safe when we got the warrant to search his house."

I put my hands on my hips with a nod "So he didn't kill Mary King and Lisa Levy due to religious purposes…"

J.J bit her lip and looked over at Hotch who looked at me, It's a if they were keeping something from me and afraid to tell me, the air was thick and it was making me more worried than anxious, I raised a brow "What? What is it?"

J.J sighed and opened her mouth to speak but its almost as if she couldn't say the words, she then looked at Prentiss almost saying for her to explain the situation and help her out. "The girl he has been sending these emails to and writing about in this notebook, he is obsessed with, so obsessed in fact that it may be a danger to anyone standing in his way of him and her being together…"

I looked at Prentiss with a shrug and a nod of the head "Okay so can we get him for these murders, now that we have motive, do we have DNA?"

Prentiss cut in front before I said anything else "Derek, I wasn't finished…" she paused and sighed "The girl he has been stalking and killing to get close to is…Nikki."

My head shot up and the rage within me began to boil, I felt my blood getting hotter and my heart escalating its pace, I was furiously pissed, I didn't know which way to turn or what to do, I turned my body to the side and connected my fist with the wall behind the dry erase board.

I felt Hotch come up behind me "Hey Morgan!" he paused and turned my body to face him "You need to pull it together, this is a very important case and if someone you love is involved it makes it that much more serious!"

Garcia then spoke up from the speakerphone, having heard everything from this point on "Hey guys, I have been tracking his phone GPS and it seems that he is headed down Market Street towards this cemetery on Chicago Ave."

I walked very fast paced over to the speaker, with Hotch behind me "What would he want to do at a cemetery?" Hotch asked

I shook my head "I don't know but we cant just sit here and find out, we have to get moving."

As soon as we were about to get ready to go, J.J spoke up "Wait, Wait guys! Mark is obsessed with Nikki, wouldn't he take the chance to go anywhere where she is at and take notes of her movements?" she questioned and didn't really wait for a response she just spoke back into the speaker phone "Hey Garcia one last thing before you go, can you track Nikki`s location with the GPS on her phone?"

"Yeah I just need her number."

J.J looked over at me and I sighed "I`m not sure I know it."

J.J looked at me in shock and shook her head in disappointment "Can you do a search on her Garcia and retrieve it?"

Garcia nodded "Yeah give me a minute." Everyone waited patiently on Garcia for an answer and with this wait there was so much tension in the room, we all knew where J.J was headed with this and we were all worried.

"Okay" Garcia began "So I got her number and started the tracking it and, oh god…" she paused "She is at Calvary Catholic Cemetery."

J.J looked up at me and I ran, my first instinct was to run out those FBI headquarters and race to that cemetery and save Nikki. "Morgan! Wait!" I heard Hotchner scream behind me and the res of the team follow him.

**Nikki`s POV:**

With pink and white carnations in one hand, I smiled softly walking over to the headstone of my beautiful baby Katie. As I reached the gravestone I kneeled down and brushed a small amount of the dust that was covered on the tombstone. I took a deep sigh and removed the almost dead flowers that were in the current vase, placing new the new flowers that were in my hand it the old ones place. **'Katie Morgan: Heaven Has Gained Another Angel: April 8****th****, 2000 – April 9****th****, 2000'.** I let tears stream slowly down my face reading this again in my head, it didn't matter how many times I read it, until this day it still makes me cry.

"Baby I love you so much…" I paused getting choked on my words "I want you to remember that and remember I will never forget you, I will always be here, even though sometimes it may seem that you are always here to protect me." I finished off with a whisper.

I felt the wind blow through my hair and the leaves dust off the trees, not paying any attention to my surroundings I soon jumped in my spot feeling a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned around to face the person and just stood there frozen seeing Mark Levy. "Mark…Hey." I spoke up, lifting myself from off the ground "What are you doing here?"

He looked over at me and gave a small smile "Visiting Lisa, she`s at this cemetery too."

I nodded "Oh I see…" I paused and wrapped my cardigan around me some more "Did they find out who did this to her and if it is linked to Mary`s death as well?"

He shook his head and looked down on the floor "No, no news yet." He then looked back up at me and walked a little closer "So who are you visiting here?"

I felt a knot in my stomach as he asked me that question _**'Oh shit'**_ I thought to myself, what the hell was I going to say, I opened my mouth to reply but before I could he looked at the grave stone, he looked up at me and then thought to himself "Katie Morgan." He whispered, "Why do I know that last name?"

I cleared my throat and looked everywhere but at him and shrugged my shoulders "Uhmm…"

He then looked up at me shocked "Wait a minute, that Agent…that's his last name!" he exclaimed and my eyes widened, I cant believe he put those pieces together "and only a mother would come here every weekend to refill the flowers… this is his and your child, isn't it ?!" he exclaimed seeming to get more angry.

I backed away from him now scared as to why he was getting so mad "Mark relax, please don't tell…" I paused and thought, wait, how did he know who Derek was? And how did he know I came here every weekend? _**'Oh my god! It`s him! He`s the suspected killer!'**_ I turned on my heel and began to run as fast as I can. I looked back and saw him chasing after me, not too far behind, I tried to run to my car as fast as I could but the cold temperature was getting to me and my lungs started to get pained, I soon felt his arms grab my shoulders and pull me down to floor "NOOO!" I screamed.

He looked down at me with this satisfied smirk on his face and I looked at him with disgust "NO HEL-" then everything went dark, quiet and dark.


	8. Trapped And Loosing Hope

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 8: Trapped and Loosing Hope

**Nikki`s POV:**

I woke to an alarming headache, I groaned from the pain and tried my hardest to open my eyes even a little bit but my head felt heavy and dizzy it delayed me from opening them. I could smell the stench of mildew, and outdoor chemicals, the ground was cold and hard…cement, where in the world was I? What happened? All these questions buzzed around in my head as I finally began to open my eyes. I sat up a bit more in my position and searched my surroundings and noticed I was in a dim room of sorts, a very large room, almost like a warehouse. I tried to lift my arms but noticed the were tied behind my back to a metal pole that stood to the left corner of the room, the room was lit very dimly and I can hardly make out what consisted of the room and if there was anyone else in there with me.

Getting more and more worried by the minute I finally began to remember the previous actions that took place…oh my god I was kidnapped and trapped…even worse than that I was with the killer. I began to hyperventilate and panic, I had no idea what to do, my head turned left, right, up and down trying to find anything I can do to get myself out of this situation but before I could even think to execute a plan, I heard a voice in the corner, Mark`s voice. "Thinking of leaving me sweetheart?"

I looked up and kept strong, I couldn't be afraid, or at least I would try to make it look as if I weren't, my nerves were eating me up inside "Mark why are you doing this ?!" I screamed "What the hell has gotten into you?!"

I heard him chuckle softly and take a few steps closer to where I was "Love my darling…" he began and crouched down in front of me "I did this all because I love you."

I looked at him as if he had gone mad, shocked expression written all over my face "What?! Oh so killing two women, one whom was your wife you did because you fucking love me?" when he didn't answer I continued, "You fucking sick bastard!

Thinking now that he would take the chance to put me in my place after saying that, thinking he would beat me up a little bit, he did the exact opposite, he smiled "Oh Nikki, don't you see it? We were meant to be together, Damien was meant to go to school where you teach, have you as his teacher, god did that all for me."

I couldn't believe he was saying these words; this man was a psychopath and obsessed with ME! My hopes of getting out of here dead or alive were quickly diminishing. "Mark I never showed any interest in you! You were married with a son!"

"Yes and do you know how well you took care of my son?" he questioned while taking a strand of my hair and pulling it behind my ear, I automatically pulled away from his touched and looked at him disgusted as he continued on "Like he was your own."

This guy was so mental it was unbelievable "Mark…" I said a little softer now, maybe he would understand in a more calming tone "I was his teacher, that's my job."

He laughed and bowed his head down "You job?" he whispered "Your job!?" he yelled "No, No, No, sweetheart your job now is to be my wife, have my children and tend to my every whim."

My eyes widened in horror as tears began to now spring out my eyes,_** 'This cant be happening, how did I get caught up in this mess? Why!?'**_ I screamed to myself in my mind. "You fucking twisted, sick, pervert, who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how to run my fucking life!?" I screamed.

He suddenly bounced back on his feet and grabbed, pulled at my hair with his hand and I screamed "AHHHH! Please, Mark, please-" I begged

"Who do I think I am? I`m the guy who has you trapped for the rest of you goddamn life and if you cooperate that can be a great life if you don't well…" he paused and smirked "Lets just say you`ll end up like that damn daughter of yours and Agent Morgan."

I bit my lip to stop myself from saying something, him bringing up my daughter was crossing the line, I was overly furious, furious, scared, and lost of hope. I closed my eyes letting a waterfall of tears run down my cheek. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth once, twice, and a third time to reply "Ok…" I whispered feeling his grip let go more of my hair "Ok yes, I-I want a great life…"

He stroked my hair where it was pulled and kissed the top of my head "Good," he whispered "That's great sweetheart." My stomach twisted and turned in disgust, I cant believe I had to endure this shit, was I ever going to get out of here?

**Derek`s POV:**

My black SUV came to a fast halt in front of the cemetery and both Prentiss and me jumped out of my car and ran into the cemetery, armed and ready to fire if necessary. This guy was not going to get away with Nikki, I had to stop him, I had to stop this, if I didn't…I don't think I could live with myself for the rest of my life and at this point all I could keep thinking about was that I should have told Nikki how I really felt, everything I have wanted to tell her in the past 8 years and admit to her that one of my biggest mistakes was leaving her behind.

I stopped in the middle of the cemetery finding no signs of Nikki or Mark Levy anywhere. Spencer, Hotch, and J.J followed right behind both Prentiss and me. Hotch told Spencer and J.J to search the left end of the cemetery while me and Prentiss searched the right, he was going to stay in place to watch if the unsub, Mark Levy, would appear from anywhere around his vicinity.

After running down the right end of the cemetery and back, I sighed in frustration and for the first time fear…fear not for myself but for Nikki. I forcefully ran a hand over my shaven head and groaned. I felt Prentiss` eye on me as she spoke up "Derek." She whispered "We will find her, and we will find the bastard who did this to her and mark my words if he has touched her in the slightest way, he is fucking dead!" she exclaimed.

I looked up at her and squeezed her shoulder almost as a silent thank you to her for her words and we walked together back up to Hotch`s position. Once we got there J.J and Spencer were already by his side, none of us had found Nikki or our unsub, Mark Levy.

"What now?" I asked almost silently praying we had a plan B.

"We find out where he has taken her and get there before he finds out we know." Hotch replied.

"Statistically most kidnappers or psychopaths will not bring the person they want for themselves the most to a place where everyone knows about…" Spencer began

"So he wouldn't have taken her to his house...What about his office?" Prentiss questioned

Spencer shook his head "Hmm no still too much of a well known area, those are the first two places he knows the cops would think to look."

J.J jumped in and turned her face to me "Can we get Garcia to check for any other known addresses where he may have purchased property over the years or inherited from his wife's death?"

I nodded "Great idea, yeah…" I dialed Garcia`s line and got the witty voice of the blonde on the other end, unfortunately I was in no mood for joking around "Garcia, listen we need you to see if you can find any property Mark Levy may have owned of inherited?"

"I`m on it." She exclaimed on the other line, she typed away on her computer and we waited for the results of her search, I was getting more nervous by the second, every minute passed is a minute Nikki could be harmed. Her voice spoke up again "Ok he did recently buy a property, it is an old warehouse by the ship yard where they used to stock cars coming in from other countries, Japan etc.…" she explained.

"Thanks Garcia, send us those coordinates!" I exclaimed waiting for her response and when she agreed I hung up. "I guess we are going to see some ships." I stated as I ran back to the SUV`s with everyone behind me and we piled on.

**Nikki`s POV: **

I watched as Mark paced around me with a sadistic smile, he had something planned and I didn't like at all where it was going. "You know," he spoke up "We have some orders of business to tend to, now that we are together I mean."

I looked down at my now torn jeans, blood seeping through my knee to the denim fabric from an obvious brutal scrap or cut "Oh yeah, what's that?" I whispered, I figured out in the time I was here that in order for me to save myself and get out of this alive at some point, I had to do everything he told me and act as if his wish were my command.

"We need to talk about marriage and children…" he spoke coming up next to me and sitting down beside me.

I cringed at the thought and just put on a fake smile, the fakest one I could come up with and swallowed the lump in my throat looking up at him "Okay…" I said through gritted teeth.

I felt him rub his fingers through my hair and kiss my ear, _**'oh my god, I'm going to loose it'**_ all I kept thinking was this disgusting feeling, I felt like vermin when he touched me, let alone kissed me, however I kept my cool and played along with his game "Mmm, you know, you do that so well."

I felt him smile against my cheek, his lips leading from my jawline and back up to my ear "Yeah well that's not the only thing I do well sweetheart…"

I balled my hands into fists, the thought made me want to vomit, I knew exactly what he was talking about and I swear to god, I would rather die here than let him touch me in any way like that. At this point all I was thinking was about Derek, his face was in my mind at all times, all I was worried about was never seeing him again, and if I had the chance I would run to him and tell him everything I was feeling in my heart, tell him every truth I had In me. I let tears slid softly from my eyes thinking about when would be then next time I saw him…of course I knew him and his team were looking for me, but would they ever find me and when? These were all questions that at this point I had no hope for.

"Oh why are you crying sweetheart?" Mark asked me, and from here I assume he felt my tears running down my cheeks "Are you upset we haven't gotten the chance to consummate our relationship yet?" he questioned running his hand now down my bare chest.

"NO!" I screamed and held in my anger and disgust "No…" I whispered "Its umm…its just something I was thinking about."

He looked up at me and ran his fingers up my neck, suddenly I felt his hand wrap around my neck and squeeze, he was choking me, tears were flowing out my eyes like hot lava and I tried my hardest to get out the grasp of his hand, fighting for breath and then he spoke "I swear to god if you are thinking about that punk Agent Derek, there will be much more pain where that came from." He whispered harshly and removed his hand from around my neck; forcefully pushing my body back against the pole as he walked away. I cried, cried so hard, letting my head fall to my side, and thought about the only thing that made me happy, Derek.

**Derek`s POV:**

"Alright Derek you and Spencer take the inside and me J.J and Prentiss will spread out around out here." Hotch explained and I nodded my head, putting on our bulletproof vests.

I retrieved my gun from its holster and forcefully kicked the door to he warehouse open, immediately making sure there was no one to be seen as I pointed out my gun. I walked around the scene of the warehouse, my gun being my protection through every place I went through. All I saw around were boxes and crates, nothing that seemed to be out of place for a ware house and Hotch soon came in on my ear piece "Morgan you got anything?" he asked.

I looked around the final and last corner of the warehouse and replied back "No, nothing, you?"

"No, it seems like this place is deserted, this may not be what we were looking for." He explained.

I sighed and punched the wall of the warehouse "FUCK!" I screamed, this was a waste of time, time that Nikki may not have and we need to get to her. Suddenly my phone began to go off, I grabbed it from its position on my hip and flipped it open "Morgan."

"There was another location that just came up on my findings." Garcia's voice rang for the other end.

I sighed, almost in relief, this may be what we were looking for "What is it Garcia?"

I heard the clicks of her mouse as she spoke "It seems like Mr. Levy was purchasing a whole lot of warehouses and some a while away from the Chicago area, for what I don't know but I have two more warehouse locations."

I nodded and quickly jogged out of the warehouse, making sure with each step I wasn't cornered by any surprises, my gun still well attached to my hand. As I reached outside with Hotch and the rest of the team I put Garcia on speaker "Ok Garcia give me the coordinates to both warehouse locations."

**Nikki`s POV:**

"Are you ready to have all your mind and soul for me now?" I heard Marks voice in the distance.

I sighed, shaking from the cold I couldn't breathe, it was getting darker and later and much colder, I began shivering and all I had the strength to do was nod but that was not enough for Mark, he kicked me in the ribs and screamed "SAY IT!"

I screamed and winced in pain, holding my left side of my ribs from the kick "I`m ready." I whispered.

He walked around me as if stalking me, like he were stalking prey "I want you to be ready to do anything and everything for me." I heard him say this and I looked up at him, so weak and so cold. "Please…" I begged "I`m so cold and so hungry"

He laughed and shook his head "What about me Nikki?" he paused and got closer to me "I`m cold…I`m hungry," he crouched down in front of me and smacked me right across the face "Stop thinking about your goddamn self!"

I cried, holding my cheek, I winced at the stinging burning pain his hand left of the right side of my face. The cold and the force of the slap just made me grow weaker and careless. I didn't know what to do at this point, I did everything he wanted me to do, its like he has this whole life set for me, why? Why would god put me in this position? What did I ever do? I cried at the thought of this as I felt Mark still lingering around me "Nikki you need to give me some attention…" I heard him begin to speak "Now that I am going to make myself your husband, you have to treat me that way, I want everything a husband gets…" he paused "Food, care, advice, and most importantly…" he smirked and sat down beside me once more, I knew where this was going and I had to get out, I had to escape, even if it meant risking my life, I was going to explode, I couldn't take it anymore, so many emotions were going through me. I felt he lips slither against my ear and him whisper "I want you to fuck me…" I bit this inside of my cheek at those words, my stomach began twisting in knots once again as I tried to pry my hands free of the rope that bound me to the pole but it was no use. I felt his hand drop the strap of my blouse and pull it down to reveal my bra, I gently cried to myself thinking this couldn't be happening, I then felt his hand caress the top of my breast and his lips soon followed to the exact area. I let my head fall back on the pole and cried even harder, I closed my eyes not being able to watch him do this, I wanted it to end, I need it to end, please _**'GOD MAKE IT END!'**_ I screamed to myself in my head.

"FBI! FBI!" I heard voice screaming down the long hallway "LEVY GET YOUR ASS UP AND AWAY FROM HER!" I knew that voice, that voice, it as Derek. I turned my head to the side; finally feeling relief hit my system. _**'He saved me, he`s here for me.'**_


	9. Katie Morgan

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 9: Katie Morgan

**Derek`s POV:**

I saw Nikki huddled in a corner tied up to a pole, she looked weak and looked so fragile as if she were about to pass out and loose consciousness. I had to keep my thoughts strait at Mark Levy, in order to get everyone out of here alive, I couldn't think about how bad I wanted to hurt this guy, maybe even kill him for doing the things he did to Nikki in the time he had her. Rage was boiling beneath my skin but I had to keep it together. He still had yet to back away from her, his hand still placed on her breast. That thought, the thought that if we had come a few minutes too late he would have had his way with her tortured me, it terrorized me and made me sick to think Nikki would have had to endure that, I just thank god we got here in time. "LEVY I AM ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME, GET UP AND BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER." I said pointing my gun at him, having a clear shot to his head.

Hotch stood behind me on my left side while Prentiss on my right and Spencer and J.J stood behind them as if we had someone always to back us up, in protection, that is how it worked, in the BAU we spent all of our time together and we were like a family, so we do anything to protect our own and in this case with Nikki, I assume they can see how much she means to me and because of that, they treat her with that same respect. I heard Hotch`s voice speak up behind me "Mark you don't have to do this, do you think this is right? Forcing her to love you?"

Mark finally stood from his position near Nikki and shot a glare strait at Hotch, all of our weapons still pointed at him "And what do you know about love Agent?" Levy began "Hmm? Do you have a wife? Children?" he asked tauntingly.

"We are not here to talk about me, we are here for you." Hotch stated clearly "If you want this woman to love you, you need to let her go, you need to let her think on her own."

Mark laughed and looked from me to Nikki, with an emotion set in his eyes, however I could not pin point it "Think on her own?" he asked "She cant do that, she always fucks up!" he laughed at his own statement and thoughts began to race in my own head as he said this 'Oh this cant be good'.

"She was stupid enough to chose you back in college…" he began

"Hey!" I exclaimed, I saw the fear in Nikki`s eyes and apparently he knew much more than she thought he did and that thought scared her, I cant see it in her eyes "That is none of your business Levy, don't you dare start throwing out peoples business around like its so kind of free service!" I screamed louder.

Levy laughed and sauntered closer to us, pacing around in a circle "Oh but it is...you think you know everything Agent Morgan, you think you know every secret that girl has had…" he smirked and looked dead at me "Think again, there is one thing I can bet my damn life you don't know…"

I heard Hotch whisper from beside me "Morgan don't play into his bullshit, he is a psychopath and he is just trying to unfocus your attention and your knowledge."

I nodded knowing very well what Hotch was talking about, but there was something I couldn't shake, a gut feeling, a gut feeling telling me that something about the way Levy was saying these things, or the way my stomach turned every time he spoke as if he knew something I didn't, It made me think he may not just be trying to unfocus me…there may be some truth behind that statement.

"No…" we all heard a whisper coming from the corner, it was Nikki, what was she doing? "Levy, please if you keep quiet, if you untie me from here, we will run away together" she began and I looked over at Hotch and Prentiss, I looked at them as if she was crazy saying these things "Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" I asked from across the room.

She looked up at me with a small sparkle in her eye, I couldn't make out why, why did she seem happy now, I was overly confused and worried. She then turned her head to look at Levy "Morgan shut up, let me be with the man I really love…" she stated continuing her gaze on Levy.

"What the fuck…?" I whispered and Prentiss came closer to me "No…Morgan she's helping us."

I looked at Prentiss with a questionable look and then back at both Nikki and Levy. Levy walked over and kneeled down before her "Is that true?" we heard him question.

Nikki softly nodded her head and gave him a smile "Please let me go, so we can be happy together."

Levy seemed to agree with her terms, his hand reached out to run his fingers through her hair "Ok my darling." He got up and looked over at us "But first I want all your weapons on the ground!"

I looked over at Hotch, and Hotch looked at the whole team and gave a small nod of the head "Alright!" he yelled over to Levy "We are putting all our guns down" he stated being the first to place his gun on the floor, with his hands in the air and kick it across the room. Prentiss, J.J, Spencer and I all followed his actions, I then whispered over to him "Hotch is this a good idea?"

He sighed and looked over at me slightly and then back to Levy "Nikki seems like a tough girl, she knows what she`s doing and I trust her."

"Hotch what if she doesn't!" I exclaimed below a whisper.

"Her right hand." Was all he said to me.

I raised a brow but then turned my head towards Nikki to see what he was talking about, and upon looking closer at her right hand, I saw placed under her right leg was a small steel pipe which she had hidden. I looked down with a small smirk; this was definitely the Nikki I knew.

We keep our eyes on them and saw Levy walk around the pole and kneel down to were her hands were tied, he slowly began untying her and soon her hands were free, she moved them to the front of her chest and began rubbing her wrists, pain obvious in them. Levy then went around and stood in front of her and whispered something in her ear, something that we couldn't hear.

"Alright" he said "Here`s what going to happen, we are going to walk out of here and you are going to let us, we are going to drive away and never be seen again, understood?" as he was saying all this he was walking feet away from Nikki and closer to us, big mistake on his part, Rookie mistake.

He placed his hands on his hips and gave us a smirk "You thought you guys could medal between us? Between true love?" he began rambling on "God sent this woman to me, It was a sign!"

As he was saying all this Nikki was slowly getting up as to not make a sound, she grabbed the pipe from the ground gently and looked up at me, she smiled at me with her eyes and lifted up five fingers on her hand, that was our que. I knew it, I felt it, in five seconds. I saw her fingers…five…four…three…two…she slammed the steel pipe against the back of his head as hard as she could and within seconds he was going down.

"Go, Go, Go!" I screamed as the team grabbed their weapons and I ran to Levy`s position and turned his back facing me. Positing both my legs on either side of him I grabbed his arm and slid them behind his back, grabbing my cuffs with my right hand from behind my back, I quickly cuffed him and forcefully, whispering in his ear as he lay in and out of consciousness "Looks like you were the one who just got played Levy." I stated lifting him up and off the ground.

Hotch came over to me and patted me back "I got him." He said grabbed Levy`s hands with his right hand and placing his left hand on Levy`s shoulder, stating his rights to him and walking him out to the SUV.

Prentiss looked behind me and then over to me with a small smile "I- uh I`m going to leave you two alone for a minute." She then walked over to Nikki and rubbed her shoulders "You did amazing, you're a strong woman." She smiled "We will be outside waiting for you guys." She winked and walked out with a smiling J.J and Spencer following right behind her.

I slowly turned around to have my eyes meet with those same green eyes I met with so many times, those same eyes that I fell in love with. I smirked and walked closer to her "You know you quite the actress."

I heard her laugh softly and look at the ground in embarrassment, seconds later she looked up at me with a big smile "Yeah I was thinking about joining the FBI, maybe I could be of some kind of service to them with my skills."

I smiled and laughed softly walking closer to her still, so close that I could feel the heat of our bodies connecting "You have no idea how worried I was about you." I whispered and placed a gently hand on her cheek, but she winced at my touch.

"S-Sorry…" she began "He smacked me around a bit and its` still fresh." She explained.

I sighed and the thought came back to how much she had to endure for the 6 hours she was locked up with that psychopathic stalker "Baby, I'm so sorry, I should have been able to come sooner."

I felt Nikki`s hand press softly against my chest "Hey…" she began and my eyes once again met hers "Don't you do that, don't you dare blame yourself," she looked deep into my eyes so many emotions running through hers "I`m grateful you came when you did, do you know what could have happened if you came even a minute or two later?" she asked not exactly looking for an answer.

"I don't even want to think about it…" I whispered grabbing the hand she had placed on my chest and wrapped mine over hers.

She shivered from the cold and licked her chapped lips "Once I get back to my normal self and normal routine…" she whispered "I would really love it, if we could sit down and talk."

I got closer to her, our bodies connected, touching, I felt the cold that came off her skin and I rubbed her arms and shoulders almost as if to heat her up. I then lifted her chin for her gaze to meet mine and leaned in placing a kiss on her forehead "Yeah…Of course." I whispered back.

After holding her for a few seconds I slowly pulled away with a smile "Come on beautiful, its time to get you home and out of here."

She gave me a small nod, with her arm wrapped around my torso and my arm wrapped around her shoulders, we walked out of the warehouse together to meet with the rest of the team outside. Once approaching the team outside, they immediately turned their attention to Nikki.

Hotch was the first to speak "Nikki…you did a great job in there, we were all very worried about you."

Nikki nodded her head with an understanding smile "Thank you Agent."

"Please call me Hotch." He stated

Prentiss followed behind him "And we have met before but please call me Emily, its more personal." She smiled

J.J came up to Nikki and gave her a soft hug "I`m so glad your ok…I`m Jennifer but please call me J.J." She smiled and backed up a bit from her "Oh and one other thing, I don't know how this man lived eight years without you" she said pointing to me as Nikki began to chuckle "Because in the two days we have been here, you are all that has been on his mind!" she exclaimed with a soft laugh.

I heard Nikki laugh along with her and shook my head in amusement "Now see, why do we have to go there?" I asked "Now your going to make her think she`s got the control."

Prentiss pursed her lips and laughed "Ohhh but she does Morgan, you just don't know it yet!" she winked and turned to Nikki "It was so nice meeting you and hopefully we can spend time under better circumstances." With those words spoken both J.J and Hotch nodded their heads in agreement.

Spencer then decided to cut in "I`m not much of a hugging person but I'm really glad your safe Nikki…" he began and then it was almost as if a light bulb went on in his head "Oh and if you want, I have some great therapists you can go see, normally people who have been in your situation have a higher percentage to need that counseling to get back to their normal lifestyle and not have to relive everyday as the scene that you lived through today…"

I laughed and looked at Nikki who had her eyebrow raised and a small smile on her face. "You`ll get used to it…" I stated shaking her from her thoughts.

"Yeah you just need to think of Spencer as Webster's Dictionary, he knows everything!" J.J exclaimed with a smile.

Spencer was about to speak but J.J soon walked away with Prentiss following. With a confused look on his face he looked towards Nikki and gave her a wave "Ill see you soon Nikki."

She laughed softly "Bye Spencer…" she shook her head, now with her own amusement watching Spencer follow behind the two girls into their own SUV.

"Derek" I heard Hotch`s voice come from the side of me "I think you should stay here for a couple more days and get your things in order."

Nikki cleared her voice and looked up at both me and Hotch "Is it okay if I wait for you in the SUV?" she asked "It`s getting really chilly and I have been in this state for awhile now." She was clearly trying to give us some privacy.

I nodded my head and pointed to the SUV "We are riding with Prentiss, she should be in there already." Nikki smiled at me and excused herself walking over to the SUV and being greeting by Emily.

"Hotch, I can go back to work, I don't need any personal time." I stated now that Nikki was gone.

He shook his head "You do, and that's an order." He looked over at Nikki in the SUV who was now laughing with Prentiss "That girl is why you need to stay, take it from me Morgan, I lost my wife to this job, don't follow my footsteps, there is always a way to work things out, I just never gave it the attention it needed and I am telling you now, this situation you both are in needs attention and she needs to know which way to go, do not lead her on and for once don't do what you think is best for the BAU, do what you think is best for yourself, it wont kill you to have a life outside the BAU." He explained looking back at me and patted a hand on my shoulder. He nodded his head to the SUV where Nikki sat and soon walked away a couple seconds later.

I sighed a ran a hand over my head, he was right, I needed to do this for myself, it was time to fix everything I had fucked up and it was time to make myself happy. With all the things you see going on in the BAU, it was time to bring in some happiness, with so much pain and sadness you needed something in your life to change that and in mine…that was Nikki.

As I was walking to the SUV, something I heard stopped me in my tracks, I heard sadistic laughter and then this "Hey Agent." I looked over a raised a brow, of course it had to be Mark Levy, I the back seat of a police vehicle.

"Your time is up Levy, there is nothing you need to say to me." I stated calling out to him a few feet away from me.

"Oh but there is…" he sent me a smirk and I removed my sunglasses to get a better look of him "Katie Morgan." Was all he said.

"What?" I said confusion set in my brain as he spoke again "Katie Morgan, do some research and see what you find." He gave a smirk as the cop came from around the other side of the car and screamed "Alright Levy, that's enough!" he said as the window rolled up and Levy`s face was no longer seen.

The cop looked up at me and nodded "Sorry Detective Morgan, never know what comes out of these psychos mouths."

I was still in confusion and shock from what Levy had said and that gut feeling came back to me, that bad gut feeling telling me something was awfully right from what he had just said. I looked up at the cop and came out of my trance and nodded my head "Yeah…" I told him and he walked away disappearing into the cop vehicle of his.

I sighed and turned my back walking back to the SUV, all I saw was Nikki wrapped in a FBI fleece blanket, having a chat with Prentiss and then the name floated around back in my head _**'Katie Morgan…Morgan, Katie…who can that possibly be with my last name? And what does she have to do with Nikki'**_?


	10. Skeletons Dont Stay in the Closet Foreve

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

**PS: I apologize for not updating sooner, I know many of you were anxious to read the next chapter, and as anxious as I was to write it I had a lot of things going on this past week. But keep posting those reviews, it may make me work quicker ;) Enjoy!**

Chapter 10: Skeletons Don't Stay in the Closet Forever

**Nikki`s POV:**

I felt the SUV come to a soft stop and the ignition cut off soon afterwards, I turned my head from looking out the window at the dark of the Chicago night to looking into the dark depths of Derek`s chocolate brown eyes. I smiled softly and wrapped the newly used FBI blanket around myself, Prentiss had given it to me soon after I got into the SUV, she noticed how cold I was and figured my body was too much below the regular body temperature and offered me the blanket.

"Damien is really attached to you, you know?" Derek soon cut me from my thoughts for earlier in the day.

I smiled and sighed laying my head back on the head rest of the seat "Yeah, he`s something else…" I laughed softly "It such a shame what turned out to be of his father and then his mother leaving him like that, so young in life…" I paused and thought "Such a sweet little boy doesn't deserve that."

I saw him nod with a smile and his left hand resting on the steering wheel "Yeah but I see something special when you look at him, you may not know it but that boy has you wrapped around his finger."

I laughed and gave a small roll of my eyes "He`s just one of my kids in my classroom, all my kids are important to me."

Derek nodded with a laugh "Yeah okay but how often do you go visit them like you did Damien?"

I let a small amount of blush creep up in my cheeks, I guess there was some truth to that statement. As soon as we got away from the crime scene and I was feeling a lot more warmer and comfortable with Prentiss and Derek in the SUV, I knew right away before going home, I wanted to go and see Damien at Child services to make sure he was handling things alright, all he had were his parents, and they were both taken from him is such horrific ways, I cant imagine going through that at his age and the worst part is he had no living relatives, grandparents were dead and no godparents listed on the will to take care of him. It just so sad to see that little boy having to go through the adoptive system or from foster home to foster home.

After a small silence between the both of us, due to my random thoughts peeking up in my brain, I bit my lower lip and reached over placing my hand softly on Derek`s thigh "Derek" I began "I never got to thank you, I can begin to explain how grateful I am to have had you here and to literally save my life…"

He took my hand from his thigh and squeezed it tight and with his right hand he reached over and placed a finger lightly under my chin for my gaze to connect with his "Hey…" he whispered "Do you think I would ever let anything happen to you baby?" he questioned, a question that didn't really need an answer, I knew the answer to it all to well.

I let a small smirk play on my lips and removed my hands from his, changing my expression, crossing my arms over my chest "Now did I or did I not tell you to stop calling me that?"

He laughed; bowing his head, almost looking embarrassed "See, now I don't think you want me to." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

A raised a brow that same smirk still on my face "Oh really?" I licked my lips "And why is that Derek Morgan?"

He shifted in his seat to face me better "Ill explain to you Nicole Martins…" he replied now matching my own smirk "The minute you felt us gaining our spark and connection not but a minute ago, you pulled away, changing the subject…" he now spoke in a whisper and I felt his body leaning closer, his smirk now gone from his features "Now why would you change the subject the minute you felt a hint of connection between us?" his body, his lips, his face inching closer and closer to mine "Because you knew I would see right through you and find out you are still attracted to me and that you never…stopped loving me…" my breath caught in my throat, my legs got weak, even though I was sitting down it felt like I was standing and at any minute I would fall, my stomach was filling with butterflies as his lips were centimeters from mine, my heart was pounding. _**'No Nikki, YOU CAN'T! Don't do it! He will hurt you again! He`s going to leave again anyway!' **_my defense walls came up and my mind awoke me from the beautiful sin I was about to commit.

I quickly pulled back and ran a shaky hand though my hair, biting my lower lip in the process. When I looked back at Derek he had that smirk back on his face, as if he had just won a major tournament. "What?" I asked a bit of shock in my voice laced with amusement.

"You did it again…" he leaned back in his seat, watching me squirm.

I sighed with an amused laugh "How about we go inside now? I mean this is Chicago and I'm freezing Derek!"

His smirk still spread on his face he nodded "Yeah sure," he opened his door and jumped out "I got the door for you Nikki." He stated as he slammed his door shut and walked around to the passenger side and opened my door, helping me out of the SUV, my ribs were still in tremendous pain from the kick Mark Levy had given me, which caused me unable to move in some ways.

"How are you ribs feeling?" he asked me walking me up to the entrance of my home, well my mothers home, she had passed it on to me in the will when she died of cancer when I had just started college.

I put one hand on my side and gingerly touched it and winced a bit "Mmm, they are still very sore but ill live." I smiled up at him.

"Still I want to be with you to help you, you need taking care of…" he stated as I removed my keys from my purse and slid he key into the lock opening the front door.

"Derek I have a couple bruised and sprained ribs, I'm not incapacitated." I laughed softly flicking on the lights to the foyer.

He turned my softly to face him and tucked a piece of fallen hair behind my ear "I never said you were baby, but if I am going to be here for a few more days, I am going to help you as much as I can."

I shook my head, Derek, here, with me? That was trouble waiting to happen, to many feelings surfacing, too many things being let out in the open. My defense walls came up again "Derek no, no, that's really not necessary, I'm fine!" I exclaimed setting my purse down on the center island table.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow, giving me a stern look. He wasn't leaving and there was no way anyone could make him budge, he was as stubborn as a bull and I certainly was going to have to deal with him here, at least for the night, I just hope nothing goes wrong cause when things go wrong, I hate to think what can be said.

I sighed and threw my hands in the air in defeat "Ok fine! Stay! But only for tonight, you hear me Derek Morgan?"

He smirked and then let his hands fall to his side "Your making it way too easy for me to win, sweetheart" he stated taking a seat on one of the stools in the center island.

I leaned against the counter behind me with my elbows propped up on it "Oh sweetie, you never really win…" I smirked "I let you win."

He laughed with amusement; almost shocked I was playing along with his game "Okay, then let me ask you this…" he began lifting off of his chair and slowly making his way towards me "When we were dating, do you remember how many times I would chase you, catch you, then slam you on the bed, tickling you until you gave in?" By this time he was inches apart from me, I could smell the scent of his Armani cologne, I could feel the heat of his body near mine, I slowly looked up into his eyes and swallowed the forming lump in my throat, my knees were giving out and I couldn't tear my gaze from his.

"M-Mmhmm…" I hummed this being the only way I could communicate at this point, he was paralyzing me.

His hands reached out and rested on the counter behind me, he had me trapped, his body was now so close to mine I could feel his breathe against my lips and his torso pressed against mine, my legs were now j-ello and I could hardly breathe "How many times did I win then?" was all he asked me below a whisper.

"I-Uhmm…" I began to loose track of my words felling his breath on my lips, I was dying inside and all I wanted him to do was grab me and kiss me, so hard, so passionately and if he didn't I would be left with aching lips the rest of the night.

"Can you tell me something else?" he questioned again not looking for a response, he leaned over and kissed along my jawline up to my ear "Can you explain to me why there is so much passion coming from you every time we get this close and yet…" he paused "You cant admit you still love…me."

My breath caught in my throat as I felt his kisses trailing again across my jawline and this time they were getting closer and closer to my lips. My breathing was getting heavier and my heart was pounding faster, alarms began going off in my head _**'RUN' 'GET OUT!'**_ and then my defense wall lifted up _**'Nikki don't give in to it!'**_ was all my mind kept telling me and I knew I had to get away from this situation, I couldn't let my guard down, only this was so much easier said than done. How much I loved this man, how much I wanted him back but there was no way that could happen again, he is leaving again in a few days and everything will go back to how it was, why should I trust anything now?!

His lips were milliseconds away from touching mine but I backed away and lifted his chin to meet my gaze, I bit my lower lip seductively and gazed into his eyes "Well baby, you know something?"

I felt his hand move from the counter to my left hip and my skin shivered under his mere touch, again I would not let myself give in "This is one time where I will not let you win…" I smirked and his eye widened in shock, I pushed my way free of him and walked away with a smirk on my face, I heard him call out to me "Nikki! You know that aint fair!"

I turned to him, seeing a smirk play on his lips and I put both my hands on m hips "Why? Cause you finally figured out that I have been 'letting' you win for all those years?" I shrugged my shoulder waiting for him to speak but when he didn't I just laughed softly. "I`m going to get ready for bed Derek…" I began to walk away "And don't even think about following me!" I yelled out to him.

**Derek`s POV:**

I laughed softly watching her walk away and shook my head "Damn…" my thoughts were cut short when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I unclipped my phone from my side and flipped my phone open "Morgan."

"Well hello my hot chocolate!" Garcia's voice rang through the other end of the phone.

I laughed softly at her antics "Hey baby girl, what`s up?"

She sighed and hesitated a bit "Well…uhm…I got that information you wanted me to get."

My face soon turned serious and I put one hand on my hip "Okay so what did you find out?"

"Derek...see…I don't know how comfortable I feel digging into Nikki`s past like this…" she began and began rambling at this point "She`s such a nice girl and she went through all those things, I mean why not cut her a break—"

I cut her off now frustrated knowing there was something serious "Garcia I want to know, now!"

I heard her sigh "Okay so you asked for information on Katie Morgan and…" she paused again hesitating to say anything.

"Out with it Garcia…" my patience were running thin.

"Katie Morgan died not even a day old, hours old maybe, she was a stillborn baby, and she died as soon as she came out of her mothers womb…"

My expression now changed to confused "Okay so why is she so important to Nikki? And why would Levy keep brining her up to me?"

"Ah let me finish…" Garcia began once again "So I checked hospital records and the reason she died upon being born was because she was strangled by the umbilical cord and her birth certificate stated that her parents were..Nicole Martins and Derek Morgan…"

My heart stopped, my body went cold and I began to shake "What?" I asked softly with confusion lacing my voice.

"Derek, Nikki was pregnant around the time you left, I assume if my calculations are correct and the baby died at birth…"

I closed my eyes and my jaw clenched, I had so many emotions running through my disappointment, anger, fury, astonishment, pain, but the worst of all hurt. I felt hot tears slip from my eyes and let out a long breath, '_**how the fuck could Nicole keep something like this away from me?! What was she thinking?!'**_ my mind battled my heart to get the answers.

"Derek?" I heard a small voice coming from the bottom of the stairs, I looked up with tears in my eyes right into Nikki`s eyes, her eyes changed from happiness to worry.

"Garcia I gotta go…"

"Derek wait!" she exclaimed "Don't be too hard on her, I know what she did was wrong but-" I hung up before she could finish her sentence and cleared my throat, crossing my hands over my chest just staring at Nikki.

**Do we think Nikki is in trouble, she did keep this from Derek but does anyone understand why she did what she did? how will Derek handle this now. Nikki has been putting up a defense wall and hiding her feelings while Derek has been thinking of proclaiming his feelings that he has always had for her, do you think this will ruin things? Comments and thoughts m lovely writers? **


	11. Forgiveness

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 11: Forgiveness

**Derek`s POV:**

Nikki stepped down the last two steps on the staircase and tightened the white cotton robe around herself, it fit snug to her body, keeping her warm and confortable. Her dark expresso brown hair was wet and cleanly combed from just having taken a shower. I couldn't think of how beautiful she looked all natural with no makeup on, freshly showered and her comfortable PJs on, I had too many emotions running through me that I couldn't keep up with I didn't want the burden of how beautiful she was to distract me from the conversation we needed to have.

"Derek," I heard her call my name for the second time, cutting me from my thoughts, when I looked up at her she continued "I was just coming down to say goodnight but it seems like there is something wrong, are you o-"

I cut her off almost instantly "No." I stated "No I'm not okay."

I saw her come closer to me, she gently placed her hand above mine on my chest "What`s wrong, we can talk ab-"

I cut her off again, pushing her hand of mine and walking away from her taking a seat on one of the chairs in the center island "Oh we are most definitely going to talk Nicole."

I saw her face turn to confusion and she shrugged her shoulders "Derek honestly, ten minutes ago you were fine, what could have possibly happened? And why are you giving me such a cold shoulder now?"

"Who were you with at the cemetery this morning when Levy found you?"

When I asked her this question I saw her look away from me and at the floor, she was hesitating "Just uhmm-" she paused and took a seat across from me trying to show that she was not at all tense but she was very "An old friend."

I sighed and let out a frustrated laugh "Nicole!" I exclaimed "Quite fucking lying to me and rip out those secrets you have buried in that chest of yours!"

She jumped at my voice, I know she had never seen me like this but she will not even begin to understand the pain, hurt and anger I feel, I don't know how we are going to get through this but her doing what she did makes things very, very difficult. She looked up at me with worry written all over her face, she knew I knew something but she had no idea what and that scared her "Derek I have no idea what you are going off about!"

"Oh no?" I asked her crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned over on the center island table, forcing her eyes to gaze into mine "After all we`ve been through, is it so easy to lie to me? So easy to put away all your love you had for me and burry all your secrets from me?" I began with tears actually threatening to fall out my eyes "Nikki…we used to tell each other everything, no matter how much pain it caused."

She looked at me, now her eyes beginning to water, she looked down a sniffled a bit, wrapping her robe closer around her body as if trying to protect herself from telling me the truth. "Derek some secrets are better left unspoken because of how much pain they will cause…" she whispered, then looking back up into my gaze.

I had it, I was frustrated with her running around the bushes, all my pain, all my anger, and all my frustration was let out in the next sentence "PAIN NIKKI?! THE PAIN OF A FATHER NEVER KNOWING HER HAD A DAUGHTER, WHOM DIED AT BIRTH, FROM THE WOMEN HE LOVED?! IS THAT THE PAIN YOU SPEAK OF NICOLE?!" I exploded slamming my hands on the center island right in front of her.

Tear began drowning from her eyes, as if she could not control them, she knew exactly what I was talking about and she knew how much of an effect it had, she knew how much anger I had inside me and how much pain I would be in, that's why it was so hard for her to admit it.

She let out a loud cry and choked on her tears "Derek, it was never meant for you to find out this way…"

"When then Nicole?! When were you expecting to tell me of this? When she would have started high school? Cause you sure as hell didn't even have the decency to tell me you were pregnant!" I exclaimed, wanting answers.

She sighed and took a deep breath with tears still streaming down her face "You think I wanted to keep that from you Derek?!" her voice now matching my tone of voice "You were living your dream, I didn't want to ruin it for you! You had already left me because you thought our relationship could not make it in the BAU, how do you think you would have reacted knowing we had a child?!"

"Damn it Nikki!" I ran a frustrated hand over my bald head "I loved you like no other, you know very well I would have came back to take care of you and that baby!"

"Exactly!" she replied with a scream getting closer to me "How do you think it would make me feel knowing the only reason you came back for me was because I was pregnant?!"

I sighed and looked into her eyes "That wouldn't have been the only reason Nikki, I know you know that I loved you, but my mind set back then was that a relationship could never work with my career choice, however knowing that we had a baby together, that would change things in an instant!" I replied

She sighed and sniffled, wiping a few of her tears "Derek I didn't want you to give up your dream, you were so passionate about it, I did it because I loved you and I didn't want you to spend your life wondering what it could have been if you hadn`t had a baby." She explained with a softer voice now.

I sighed running both my hands down my face, wiping the tears away from the process "Nikki, you have no idea how much pain you have caused me right now, knowing you were pregnant and I could have been there every night to help you, knowing you were In labor and I could have been in that delivery room by your side consoling you and watching our daughter being born, knowing that I could have been there for the suffering and the aftermath-" I was soon cut off

"NO!" Nikki exclaimed her face inches away from mine now, she had moved closer to me in the process of the argument "You have no idea what I have been through in these past seven years, seeing our baby die in my arms!" she choked on her words and her chin shook as she spoke "To witness that was the worst pain of my life, knowing I couldn't even save my own baby!"

I sighed feeling pain for her, but still the furry from not knowing about our daughter killed me and tore me up inside "You should have told me Nikki, you know how wrong it was for you not to say something…" I said in a lower tone as I grabbed my jacket off the chair "Regardless of how painful it would have been, we would have gone through it together and we could have been there for each other but now…" I paused and threw my hands up in the air "I have to grieve my daughter by myself."

Nikki`s eyes were watered with pain, sorrow, and regret, she ran to me and I felt her grab my arm "Derek…Please…don't go."

I gently got out of her embrace, as much as it hurt me to leave her in this situation, I needed to get away, clear my head and be away from her for the time being, it was such a difficult situation at the moment "I need to be alone, Nicole…" I stated as I turned the doorknob and walked out the door.

I had to get out of that house; I was now hurt more than furious, although my anger did get the best of me but how could it not! She hid this from me for 8 years almost and expected everything to be okay, she has no idea how I could have been there for her, she didn't even give me a chance! _**'Just like you didn't give her a chance by keeping your relationship alive?'**_ my conscience fought with me. I sighed and ran both my hands over my face and proceeded to slam them back down on the steering wheel of the SUV.

I put the key into the ignition and started the SUV, driving away from the house and my thoughts once again consumed me. That's not the worst part, then we have my mom and my sisters who knew everything…all of this and still decided not to tell me. My question is were they ever going to tell me? If my daughter had survived, would I only be finding out about her now because I was here on a case or would Nikki have come clean days after she gave birth, this I would never know and it hurt me inside so much that the woman I loved could not trust me with this secret. She actually thought not telling me was the better decision.

I found myself just driving around, no idea as to where my destination I would be, I spent 10 minutes just circling my way around these blocks, then I knew, I knew where I wanted to go to clear my head, I also knew the last people I wanted to talk to right now, including Nikki were my mom and my sisters. I took the next left and headed south on one of the main roads, I had to grieve my daughter, I thought as I felt tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. I sighed and forcefully wiped them away, gaining my composure again.

Minutes later I parked the SUV at a curb and looked outside the window, the cemetery where my daughter was buried. I sighed and cut off the ignition, making my way out of the car.

**Nikki`s POV:**

I sat in the chair, my elbows resting on the center island table and my head bowed down in my hands. Tears were falling down my face like a waterfall and my breath was getting constricted in my throat, I thought my heart was going to tear open, I took one long deep breath and cried out "Whyyy !?" I sobbed and shook my head, I felt stupid, dumb and childish. I was about eight years younger back then and had no idea what I was thinking, if it were now and I was pregnant things would be very different, of course I would tell Derek, but for the life of me, I right now cannot understand the reasons to which I chose not to tell Derek 8 years ago…Did I royally screw up? Did I make the biggest mistake of my life? Was there even anyway to remedy the situation? All these question swarmed my brain as I tried to regain my composure and stop crying, the problem is the tears would not stop falling…it hurts to know how stupid I am and how I may have truly now lost the man I love with the entirety of my heart and soul.

Suddenly I head the doorbell ring and cut me from my thoughts, I sniffled and wiped the tears quickly off my face. I looked up to check the time on the clock and confusion set in my features, it was 11:40pm, who could possible be at the door, I knew very well it wasn't Derek, I don't think I would ever be blessed with his presence again, although my heart hoped otherwise.

I wrapped my robe tightly around myself and took a deep breath walking over to the door, I peered to the left and moved the small curtain to look out the side window on the door, I smiled softly and saw Desiree standing outside with two huge cups of coffee. I knew she was here to check up on me, after she heard Derek had saved me from the crime scene and he brought me back here, she promised me should would come by after work. Now this was all making sense, considering she was a bartender, her hours weren't exactly 9am-5pm, they were more nights. I'm surprised she's actually here this early, normally she gets out at 2am.

I unlocked the top lock then proceeded to the door knob and softly pushed the door open, I looked up at her and her look changed from smiling and happy, to mouth agape and worried. She rushed inside and shut the door behind her. "Oh my God, sweetie, are you okay?"

I looked down at the floor, knowing a fresh batch of tears were coming "No…" I whispered not wanting to make eye contact with my best friend.

Desiree quickly lunged one arm around me and walked me over into the kitchen. She placed both cups of coffee on the center island and slowly helped me sit down in the chair and quickly sat down in the one next to me "Nikki, what happened? Where`s Derek?" she then looked around while her hand was still placed on top of mine "Wasn't he supposed to be here looking after y-"

I stopped her mid-sentence "He left…" I whispered with a small sniffle.

"Oh I'm going to kick his ass!" she sighed and shook her head "Where did he go? Why did he leave?!" she asked now looking into my eyes.

"Des…" I began and licked my now very dry lips "He found out about Katie…"

Desiree`s facial expression turned to shock and she lifted one hand covering her agape mouth. "Wh-" she paused almost unable to get her sentence through "How?"

I sniffled and shrugged, my eyes now hurting my the amount of crying I was doing "I have no idea" I whispered "But he did and we got into it here, I tried explain to him why I did what I did but he didn't understand and took off, saying he couldn't be here right now…"

I sighed and continued "And to be honest, I don't think I blame him."

Desiree embraced me quickly in a hug and rocked me back and forth "I'm so sorry Nikki…" she held me tight and whispered through my hair, in my ear "Even though, he may have the right to be angry and hurt, he also needs to understand your point of view back then and realize how hurt you are by it now."

I sighed and softly pulled away from her embrace "Des, he wont, I wouldn't!" I exclaimed "there is no way to fix this or turn back time, I have to live with this the rest of my life!"

She shook her head forcefully and moved my face to look into her eyes "You listen to me Nikki," she began "My brother loves you, he always has, despite any lack of contact within the past eight years, I know it and I know that you know that too." She exclaimed and pointed to the door "His issue right now is regaining his composure and blowing off every ounce of steam he has."

"What If this has changed everything?" I asked, pleadingly.

"What if it has only made you stronger?" she questioned below a whisper.

When I didn't answer she grabbed one of the cups of coffee and handed it to me "Here, you need this sweetie." She stated and I accepted gratefully "Do you know where he went?" she asked

I took a sip of the hot coffee and felt it heat up my throat and down my stomach "He didn't tell me…" I began "But I know where he may have gone, he said something about having to grieve our daughter alone."

"He`s at the cemetery…" Desiree finished for me.

I nodded my head taking another sip of the coffee "I wanted to follow behind him so bad, I wanted to be there for him but…" I paused and looked down at my side "With my ribs in this condition, I cant drive."

She nodded understandingly and placed a hand on my thigh "let him be alone, I'm sure he will come back tomorrow, right now you need to rest."

-The Next Morning-

I awoke the next morning with a pounding headache and all that kept flashing back in my mind was the yelling and the screaming. I sighed and sat up in my bed, the covers still at my knees, I brought my knees to my chest and looked out the window, it was pouring rain, it was going to be an extremely gloomy Sunday and I was not looking forward to it for that and many other reasons. Last night I prayed to god Derek would find it in his heart to forgive me because god knows I cannot bare the thought of him even being the slightest of angry with me but I don't blame him at all for being mad, what I covered up and hid from him was so wrong…it was a childish thing to do and now even I know that but the problem is, I cant turn back time.

Just as I was about to get up I heard a soft knock at my bedroom door, thinking it was Desiree to bring me down for breakfast I let a small smile play upon my lips "Ill be right down Des…" I spoke without even looking up from my sheets on the bed.

"Nikki…"

That voice, I was in shock, it was the voice I was longing to hear, the man I was longing to touch and be touched by, I froze for a minute in my position on the bed and then slowly traveled my gaze up to the now opened door, my eyes locking with his. He was wearing his usual dark faded jeans with a short sleeve Henley tee that showed off every bit of his arm muscles. "D-Derek"

He shoved his jeans in his front pockets and made his way closer to me on my bed, he rested his hand on the bed post and just shook his head, I think he was still in shock, unsure of what to say or how to even start a conversation "Listen, I-I- uh don't even know how to-" he began but I gently cut him off "Before you say anything, I really need to show you something." I whispered lifting my frame of the bed and walking over to my double door walk-in closet.

I saw his eyes follow me and his body turn my way towards the closet, watching me rummaged through it. He spoke not one word, he just listened and really that's all I could ask for right now. I finally found what it was I was looking for and pulled out a light pastel pink and white lace covered book. I smiled softly and closed my closet doors making my way back to the bed and siting Indian style on top of my covers.

I looked up at Derek who had now a more gentle expression on his face, I smiled softly "Please sit by me…" I asked patting the spot of the bed right next to me.

He said nothing, just nodded and obliged "What is this?" he asked softly half-heartedly knowing very well what he was looking at.

I sighed and bit my lower lip, running my hands gently over the cover that read _'Nicole and Katie`s 9 Month Journey'_. "Before I show you what this really is, I need you to know that there is not one day that goes by that I don`t regret not telling you the minute I found out I was pregnant. I want you to see this to be able to see and feel a part of how it was while I was pregnant with…" I paused at this part with a smile "Our Daughter."

He sighed and laid a hand on top of my left shoulder "Nikki, you don't have-"

I cut him off again and looked up at him with a smile "Please…" I begged and he looked me into my eyes and nodded allowing me to finish.

"When I found out I was pregnant, the first person I told was Desiree and then you're mother and then Sarah. It is not their fault they covered for me, I made them, as I said before my reasons may have been childish but there is nothing I can do to change that now." I paused and took a deep breath "I was so happy, throughout the whole pregnancy I felt such a love for this baby, I thought I could not love anything more, and yet I felt like there was something missing, a huge part of my life, and a very important part of hers…that was you." I looked up at Derek who had such an understanding look in his eyes and egged me on to continue.

"You have no idea how I felt, going through 21 hours of labor, giving all my love, waiting for my baby to be born and then…" I choked on my words, tears threatening to fall, I then felt his arm wrap around my waist "hey, hey…Nikki…you don't have to explain yourself anymore." He whispered softly.

I shook my head and cried "I do…" I sniffled and took a deep breathe in "When the doctors told me there was nothing else they could do for her, I felt like a part of me died that day, I felt like the earth had been lifted from underneath me and I was trapped in a dark hole."

Derek lifted my chin to meet his gaze "Baby, I don't mean to be short with you but…do you realize how you made me feel? Keeping that from me all these years?"

I sobbed and nodded my head "I know! I know! I was dumb and I really had no idea what I was doing, please Derek..." I begged, "Please forgive me, I cant take knowing that I hurt so much the one person I love the most, the one person I'm destined to be with!" I exclaimed. And then I stopped, I froze, I realize what I had just said, had I just confessed my feelings to him? Oh no…I gave in.

Derek smiled softly and looked me in the eyes "Was that a confession?"

I bit my lip and looked down at the book in my hands, I looked back up at him, my eyes pleading with his "I'm so sorry Derek, please forgive me for all the pain and anger I put you through…"

He squeezed my hand tight and gave a soft sigh "I know you understand what you did was wrong and selfish and I know that the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me and even though you did…" he paused and softly wiped the tears from my eyes "I cant spend the res of my life hating what you did, of course I forgive you."

My tears fell from my eyes but this time they were of happiness and relief, I leaned over and hugged him tightly, taking a deep breath in and breathing in the oh so powerful scent of his cologne. I felt his lips place a chaste kiss on the top of my head and then he spoke "But next time, you know that I want to be the first to know…"

Upon hearing this I pulled away with a soft laugh and raised my eyebrow "Next time?"

He licked his lips and gave me a soft smirk "Your not getting away from me that easily ," he exclaimed with a soft laugh "Now show me this book." He asked looking down at the book in my lap, as I softly nodded and flipped the book open to the first page of my pregnancy memories, all 9 months of my memories were stored in this book, even the end where my angel was sent to heaven, our angel.

**Derek with all the love he has for her has forgiven Nikki for the 8 year secrecy and did she just confess her deep feelings, that she was keeping hidden since college? She just let her defensive walls down. What will happen with Derek and Nikki.**


	12. The Perfect Place to Reconnect

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 12: The Perfect Place to Reconnect

**Derek`s POV:**

I couldn't believe how much of her journey Nikki had recorded in the book, the photos she saved in the book showed off her growing belly every month and I couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked carrying our daughter. Along with these photos, she had every milestone written down that she went through in the pregnancy, every time she felt the baby kick she wrote down the time, day, and month, she was so focused on our baby for those 9 months and a part of me cant help but still have a little anger inside me, due to the simple fact that I missed being there for her and feeling what she was feeling during those nine months. I remembered what she said when she closed the book, after viewing the last page, she looked up at my with tears glistening in her eyes and a smile and said

'_I did not only make this book for me, I made this book knowing one day you would want as many memories as you could get of every milestone I went through with our daughter, and to not deprive you of that, I came up with the idea of this book and I know it doesn't make up for the pain you feel but it`s a start.'_

And she was right…it was, I couldn't help but think that the Nikki I once knew was coming back, she was opening up to me a lot more and the more I spent time with her, the more it felt like our college days again.

I still couldn't help but keep thinking about our daughter, Katie…tears still threatened to fall out of my eyes knowing the my baby girl had not survived outside of the womb and I'm sure I will never know how Nikki feels as a mother not being able to protect her child from that situation but I have a damn pretty good idea because I'm feeling all the pain and heart ache right now…we could have had an 8 year old daughter, running to me calling me Daddy. I sighed in sadness and disappointment but there was nothing I could do, nothing either of us could do for what happened, it was mother nature and I cant help but shake the feeling that Nikki somehow blames herself for what happened.

"Well good morning Agent Derek Morgan…" I heard the sweet voice of my sister Desiree as I reached the opening to the kitchen.

I laughed softly shaking my head "Oh and what you got no love for your big brother?" I asked opening my arms to her. She laughed and came over embracing me in a hug and I heard her say "So your not mad at us?"

I looked down at her and sighed "Listen," I began letting go of her embrace "I understand why you, mom, and Sarah did what you did, to respect Nikki`s wishes but her wishes were childish and you should have known not to follow them."

I saw her nod and walk back over to the stove where she was making pancakes "Derek, I know but…she is my best friend and it killed her when you left the way you did and she just didn't want to put the baby through that."

I raised a brow in shock at her statement "Don't tell me you think I wouldn't come back and care for that baby."

She shook her head and turned from the stove to face me "Not at all Derek, but it would take you away from your dream and she and I both knew that wasn't the best idea for the time being…she was going to tell you but she wanted to do it when she knew you were settled in the BAU, once the baby was born."

As Desiree explained this, I still couldn't shake the notion that I didn't understand, there is no reason of keeping a father from his child, its wrong, and I knew Nikki knew that now. I was starting to try and not focus on that issue and focus more on rebuilding my relationship with Nikki.

"Listen what's done is done, now its time to move past it and learn from our mistakes…"

Desiree nodded in agreement and smiled turning her attention back to the pancakes on the griddle pan "Where`s Nikki?" she asked "Usually when she smells breakfast I cant get her out of the kitchen!"

I laughed, knowing that sounded exactly like her "She`s just getting ready, upstairs, she said she would be right down."

And surely enough, seconds after, as if on cue, Nikki`s voice came from a couple feet behind me "Did I take long?" her soft voice asked.

I smiled and looked back at her but when I did I felt my heart quicken and my eyes traveled up and down her body, just with a simple outfit she looked gorgeous. She had little to no make up on and her face was glowing, she had on black skinny jeans, with dark brown combat boots over her jeans, traveling up her torso she wore a simple back tank top and a military green short jacket, hanging around her neck were silver plated dog tags, I stopped at the dog tags, there was only a few occasions when she wore those and I guess today was one of those days.

"Your dads dog tags…" I pointed out nodding my head in the direction around her neck, her father was in the army and sadly was he was killed on one of his missions, she was given his dog tags by her mother and it took her months to remove them from her neck, she stills wears them every so often.

She smiled and took a few steps closer to me, placing her hand on my shoulder "Yeah, I have a surprise for you today." She began and I raised a brow "I'm taking you out."

Desiree looked back and grunted "Damn Derek, she has to take you out, cant even be a gentleman and offer to take her out?"

I shot her a death glare with my brow still raised, and as I was about to open my mouth and speak I heard Nikki soft chuckle next to me and I then proceeded to glare at her. The side of her mouth twitched into a smirk and she spoke "Ya know, I wouldn't have minded even a cup of coffee or an early breakfast." She teased

I know matched her smirk and my left hand latched onto the right side of her waist, still careful not to hurt her bruised ribs "Well maybe you should give me a chance to offer next time, beautiful." I complimented

I saw blush rise up in her cheeks and she looked down at her feet, tucking a falling piece of hair behind her ear. I pulled her closer to me and leaned over whispering in her ear, her eyes still watching the floor "Don't you be embarrassed around me baby, you know I've said much worse than that to you in the past." I know teased her back.

Her headshot up to meet my gaze and her eyes were wide, her lips with a shocked smile, she said nothing though, she hit my arm playfully while my thumb stroked her hipbone, where my hand rested. It was moments like this I missed until no end with Nikki, I loved being able to touch her and tease her, and well love her. Soon Desiree announced that breakfast was ready, cutting our moment short, and so we all got ready to eat and after Nikki did not let it go unnoticed that our next stop would be the surprise event she had planned for me.

**Nikki`s POV:**

We waved goodbye to Desiree as she drove off and out of my driveway in her Honda. We had all finished our coffee and pancakes for breakfast and I was absolutely ready to start my day with Derek, I wanted to bring back some memories from when we were in college and what we loved to do together. Taking our minds off every stressful situation that has happened this weekend, I wanted us to enjoy the time we had together and have some fun!

I looked up at the most handsome face of Derek Morgan and smiled, biting my lip softly…god he was gorgeous, his head perfectly shaven along with his go-tee cleanly shaven, his eyes were the most captivating feature on this man, those hazel eyes could make you melt into a puddle and make your heart race.

"Hey handsome." I got his attention "You ready?" I asked when he peered down at me.

He grabbed my waist and brought me close to him "Only if it involves being this close to you."

I smirked and shook my head "Lets go, sweet talker." I laughed softly, grabbing his hand and leading him towards my car.

"Wait a damn minute…" he stopped me once we reached my car "You are not supposed to be driving with those ribs in the condition they are."

I sighed and rolled my eyes "Derek where I am taking you, puts a bit more stress to my ribs than driving."

"Then we are not going, plain and simple." He stated with his mind made up.

I sighed and ran a hand over my hair "Derek please, I really want to do this, I swear I will be fine, I'm doing a lot better!"

He sighed and put his hands to his side "Fine, but I'm driving and we are taking the SUV."

I smiled, happy that I got my way, I knew he was going to love where I was taking him, it was one of our favorite things to do every Friday after classes, it sort of became a ritual before going out that night to college parties. I followed him to the vehicle and he opened the door for me, helping me in, as he jogged to his side and got himself settled in, he turned and looked at me.

"Okay so now will you please tell me where we are going?"

I rolled my eyes with a laugh "Will you just drive, we will be there in 15 minutes."

He shook his head with a small smirk and turned on the car, pulling out of his parking space on the curb, finally beginning the drive to our destination. On our way there, I would be signaling for him to go left and right, to my surprise he forgot most of his way around our hometown, which made me want to laugh, some memory he has, yet he can make a profile for almost anyone by just watching them and their movements.

We rounded the last right and that is when I believe it all began to sink in with him, coming up on the corner was our destination and I think he knew very well.

"Oh damn, Nikki are you serious?!" he laughed and smiled like a little kid in a candy store.

"You didn't forget about this place did you Derek?" I question my eyes sparkling

He shook his head amused and pulled into the parking lot, parking the car, he looked up at the sign and then looked over at me "Academy Gun Range." He smiled "Our Friday afternoon ritual."

I leaned my head back on the headrest and smiled bright "I missed having you here with me, I thought this would be the perfect place to reconnect." I replied. This gun range was our Friday afternoon ritual and we would shot for about an hour, fighting over first place who did the best shooting, who did the worst and the looser would buy the milkshake we had after that. That became some sort of a ritual too, sharing a milkshake together right after shooting, however Chicago being as cold as it is on the really cold days we would share a hot chocolate, and lord knows I miss those days, it's the little things that make you so happy, and this was one of them.

Once we got out of the car and made our way to the desk at the shooting range, Derek had his Glock so there was no need for him to rent one, however to his recollection, I never had a gun and I would always have to rent it. It was on my wish list to get a gun license and purchase a pink Glock and guess what? That I did. When I pulled it out of my purse, his expression was shock.

"You seriously got a pink glock?" he smirked

"Just like I always wanted…" I replied as we paid only for two cases of bullets.

"And a license I hope…" he raised a brow.

"Derek I'm not stupid…" I laughed and shook my head, walking away to the gun range while he followed me close behind.

Before I knew it he was one step ahead of me, he swiftly turned around to face me and stopped me from walking, our bodies touching, forehead to forehead and our lips mere inches apart. "You know that's sexy right?" he whispered and bent down leaving a trail of kisses down my jaw, right after his lips trailed back up to my ear and he whispered again "Lets get it on."

As he walked away I shouted to him "I hope you mean shooting!"

He looked back at me following behind him with a smirk, when I stopped in front of him he replied, "What else could I have meant?"

I licked my lips in amusement and smirked "If you don't know baby, I guess you`ll have to figure that out on your own." I teased and walked the last few steps to the beginning of the range.

"Damn tease." He mumbled behind me with a smirk still plastered on his face.

BANG BANG BANG!

"Oh baby, your loosing your touch!" I heard Derek shout to me over the shots being fire.

I reloaded my gun and smirked "Don't doubt me yet Morgan!" I shouted back.

BANG BANG BANG!

Shots were being fired again, on my last two shots I nailed it strait on the bulls eye "You were saying!" I shouted again to him with a smirk.

BANG BANG BANG!

I heard his gun fire, not missing the bulls eye on me, but it wasn't really fair shooting with him now, he did this for a living, of course he would be better than me, but still I have to show him off.

"You know I do this for a living baby! What chance you think you have at wining!" he shouted over to me.

BANG BANG BANG!

My gun fired and with each hit was the bulls eye, I didn't miss once, and I smirked at my accomplishment. "Doesn't mean you wont miss! Ill take my chances handsome!" I shouted in reply.

I heard him reloading his gun and cock it back then BANG BANG BANG!

"We`ll see how far you make it!" he shouted

I decided to tease him a bit and mess with his concentration, I removed my ear pieces and pulled out my phone from my back pocket, searching for his number, when I found it, I sent him a message.

_I wish I could feel those strong hands around me right now. I'm watching you shoot that gun and I cant help but think of that strength in those hands, what those hands can do to me…._

I smirked at myself and clicked my phone shut, setting it back in my back pocket where it was previously. I put my ear pieces on and cocked my gun back, just waiting for his reaction, in 5….4…3…2…1

BANG BANG BANG!

He missed every single bullet shot. I bit my lip to stop the laughter, that was way too easy, fun but too easy.

He came behind me removing my earpieces and leaning down whispering behind my ear "You better back up that text message you just sent me."

I put my gun down and turned to look up at him with a smirk on my face "You know, doing this everyday for a living, I thought you would be better at it."

He licked his lips and pressed his body flush against mine "You know that was cheating."

I smirked and gave a confused expression "Derek, I was simply sending you a text message…no cheating about that."

He smirked amused at my ways, he leaned over and hovered his lips once again over my ear and whispered, "You just let me know when you want to do something about that text." A chill shivered up and down my spine, and my legs felt as if they were about to collapse, all I wanted to do was grab this man and kiss him with all the passion I had in me, but I had to control it, I wanted us to reconnect and slowly learn to be with each other again, eight years is a long time to be apart and I am not even sure he wants to make a real relationship out of this, he will be leaving back to the BAU in Virginia tomorrow, what will happen then? All of the sudden I realized he wasn't in front of me, he was back in his shooting booth, reloading his gun.

I smirked and turned back around in my booth, of course he was trying to distract me from shooting correctly, and of course he got a head start on me…all I heard as I loaded my gun was BANG BANG BANG coming from his corner. Every bullet hit the bulls eye, looks like I will be paying for that hot chocolate today. I smiled and finished up the rest of my bullets making the best of my last few shots.

I held the hot chocolate in my hands, wrapping my fingers delicately around the cup, it was getting really chilly out and the heat of the hot chocolate was very satisfying at this point, walking across the grass of the nearby park, Derek followed me on my right side, we walked in a comfortable silence as we reached our destination, a park picnic table that sat under a shady tree, and this only made it a bit chillier without the warmth of the sun hitting us, but as long as I was with Derek, I didn't seem to mind.

I took a seat on the bench of the table while Derek took a seat on the bench right across from me. I wrapped my military green jacket tighter around me and shivered, taking a small sip of my hot chocolate.

"Tell me…" I began "What is it really like in the BAU?"

He finished off the sip of his hot chocolate and took a deep breath looking over at me "Hard." Was the simple answer he gave me "But there are days where we save a little girl life, or bring home a missing father or mother and seeing the happiness that shines through the reconnected family…that`s what makes it all worth it."

"I imagine it must be painful going through some of the things you go through everyday." I replied

"It is." He paused and shrugged softly "But you cant let the job get to you, that's how you get trapped." He whispered.

"You love it though." I stated giving a small smile "It seems that your team is more like a family, not a team thrown together to do a job."

He simply nodded and gave me a half smile, proceeding to now asking me a question "Can I ask you?" he paused and I nodded for him to continue "What do you feel right now when you think of Katie?"

I took a deep breath and looked down at the picnic table, not that I was admiring the wood it was build from but the fact that I needed a minute to look him in the eyes and answer that question "Every night I think about what it would be like tucking her in, kissing her goodnight, saying a prayer with her and every morning I think of her running into my room, screaming and jumping on the bed," I paused for a second collecting my thoughts "You are there with me, that's part of my thoughts, my hopes but then it all vanishes and I come back to reality, where you are not there with me and where I-I …" I choked on my words, I couldn't bare to finish off my sentence, tears started slipping from my eyes and then I felt Derek's hand cover softly over the top of mine "Baby, that's okay, you don't have to go on…"

I nodded my head that I had to, I had to get this off my chest, especially in front of him, I looked up, deep into his hazel orbs and continued "I come back to reality where you are not there with me and where I have failed as a mother…" I whispered, tightly closing my eyes and letting out a fresh batch of tears.

"Hey…No No No…wait a minute…" I felt him lift from his place on the seat across me and come over to sit right next to me, he took my hands in his and slowly placed a finger under my chin, lifting my head to have my eyes meet his "Nikki…baby, you did not fail, this is not your fault!"

I sniffled and let new tears spring out "It is Derek, if I would have done something different, maybe I did something wrong during the pregnancy, maybe something happened because of me and that's why she's not here today!" I exclaimed, pain swelling my heart.

"No!" he exclaimed "baby, this is mother nature, these things happen and they are something you cannot control, now I was not here so I don't know first hand but I feel it in my heart how much you loved our daughter, I feel how much you protected her in the womb…" he stated then placed his hand over my stomach.

When I felt his touch a chill came over me and it was ot of passion this time, but…dare I say it? It was of love. I leaned closer into him and laid my head on his chest and whispered, "A mother should be able to protect her child from everything…and I couldn't."

I felt his chest move up and down after a sigh, he then leaned down placing his lips to the top of my head and mumbled into my hair "You did, for 9 months, what happened during birth was gods calling…you would have been an amazing mother baby." He then kissed my head where his lips mumbled those words.

"I wanted you there…" I whispered into his chest "I`m sorry you never got the chance to be there but deep in my heart I needed you there."

He held onto me tighter as I felt the wind getting stronger "I know baby…I know." He whispered rubbing his hand gently up and down my back and then in circles. We just sat there, in each other's embrace, finding the love we once knew.


	13. Trust in Me

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 13: Trust in Me

**Derek`s POV:**

I pulled up into the driveway of Nikki`s all too familiar home, its strange that I've only been here for a weekend and somehow I feel like I've been coming home to this house my whole life. There a comfort to Nikki`s home, which was once her mothers, every time I think about Nikki`s mom, I think about her cooking, she was probably one of the best cooks I've ever come in contact with, and every night I came over she always made this big spread and the meal was always to die for. I probably shouldn't let my mother in on that little tidbit though, I smiled softly to myself, I looked over to Nikki on the passenger side and removed my shades from my face, my eyes coming into contact with her beautiful green ones.

"I had a great time today Nikki…" I stated with a smile spreading over my lips "I'm really glad we spent that time together."

Nikki flashed a smile back at me and nodded "Me too, you have no idea how much I've missed spending time with you and just…" she sighed with a small pause "Having you near me."

I shifted in my seat, to better view Nikki "Baby…" I began "You know I regretted every day of my life leaving you." I confessed and when her head shot up and her eyes met with mine I knew I had her attention "I did what I had to do but truth is, I could not be more stupid about my decision, you were not the only one who has messed up baby, I did to and I paid for it, not having you to hold in my arms after a bad day at work, or not having you to make me laugh when I really needed it."

I saw that Nikki now had tears in her eyes with a soft smile "I know now and that's all I ever wanted to know." Our eyes were glued on each other, I couldn't pull away, her gaze was bringing me in, those eyes captivated me every time, I wanted to grab her right there and lock my lips with her showing her just how much passion I had in me for her. Our bodies began to get closer and closer and our lips mere inches away from touching, I could feel her hand rest on my thigh and it was all I had in me not to capture her lips in that instant, I lifted my hand slowly, tangling it in her hair, I pulled her closer to me, our lips grazing each other just about to meet and then….

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

There was a banging on the car window, I saw Nikki jump back into her seat and look down at the car ground, biting her lower lip. I groaned in frustration as I saw my sister Desiree knocking on the window. I sighed and held up my finger for her to give me a minute and in that minute I look over at Nikki and she was laughing softly to herself, she looked up at me with innocent eyes "I guess we should go inside…"

I soon got out of the SUV and walked over to Nikki`s side, opening her door for her waiting as she got out as well. All I could think of at this point was that I was extremely frustrated at Desiree`s timing, and at the same moment I wondered if god was playing games with me, 'Very funny.' I thought as I looked up into the sky.

Me and Nikki walked to the door with Desiree following beside me and then I heard her whisper to me "If you hurt her again Derek, I swear to god!" she hissed and glared at me, passing me and walking into the open door of the house. I stood frozen in place, not realizing she would say something like that to me and apparently she had seen we were about to kiss, she stopped that on purpose. I groaned and bit the inside of my cheek in frustration.

Nikki came behind me and rubbed my shoulder "What`s with the hold up handsome, come on!" she smiled and walked past me inside the house as well.

**Nikki`s POV: **

As I strolled inside the house, I saw Desiree was still waiting for me in front of the door, I smiled widely getting ready to greet her but then I saw her face, her facial expression was of worry and automatically I knew something was wrong.

"Des? Is something wrong?" I asked

Desiree sighed and rubbed her arm as if nervous "Ok before you go into the living room, I need to tell you something."

I nodded allowing for her to continue but then Derek`s voice spoke up beside me "What did you do now Des?" he question with a raised eyebrow. He finally made it into the house, I wasn't sure but something defiantly stopped him in his tracks outside and if I didn't know any better he seemed pissed about it. However I couldn't think of that now, I had to focus on Desiree.

"Its not me…" she glared at Derek with a serious tone in her voice.

I sighed getting frustrated we weren't getting to the point "Des, would you please spit it out!"

She looked at me and ran a hand over her hair, still hesitant, as if thinking how she was going to word the words coming from her mouth "I came here earlier to grab my phone because I forgot it on the counter during breakfast, and when I got to the front steps…" she paused and looked from me to the living room and from the living room to me "there was somebody here waiting for you."

I raised my brow and looked at Derek whom had a very worried look on his face, I reached out and grabbed his hand squeezing it gently, reassuring him that everything was fine and then looked back over at Desiree and shook my head with a confusion expression "Who?"

Desiree opened her mouth to explain however a tiny voice from the living room answered the question for her "Ms. Martins?"

My head suddenly shot over to the entrance door of the living room, where the voice was coming from and what I saw was a six year old little boy with brown hair, brown eyes, and a cute button nose looking up at me with a small smile. "Damien?" I questioned shocked, not knowing how and why he`s here.

I ran over beside him with Derek and Desiree following behind me, I held his hand and took him over to the couch, and I sat him in my lap "Damien…Sweetie what are you doing here? Why are you here alone?"

He shrugged his small shoulder and looked at my with big puppy eyes "I missed you, I wasn't happy at that place, I was happy when I'm with you." He answered

I tilted my head in awe and sympathy, smiling softly at the little boy "That's so sweet hunnie, but you cant do that, you could have been hurt! Someone could have taken you!"

Derek then chimed in "She`s right Damien, what you did could have gotten you very hurt, that place is there to protect you, until a family comes along and wants to be your mommy and daddy." He crouched down to his height level explaining this to him.

Damien looked at him and then down at the floor, almost as if he knew what he did was wrong "I-I know…but…" he paused taking a deep breath looking up at Derek again "Ms. Martins makes me happy, like my mommy did."

Derek looked up at me, looking to me for an answer, not knowing what to say, he knew this little boy didn't know any better and knew he was in pain, he looked back down at Damien and smiled "I know that too little man, I know how you feel, she makes me very happy too."

My lips parted a bit, not in shock but in wonder at what made him say that, in front of Damien and Desiree, since he`s been back he has never professed something like that. He looked up at me and gave a small smile, reaching over and rubbing my free knee with his hand.

"What`s your name?" Damien suddenly asked peering up, with mischievous eyes at Derek.

Derek laughed softly at the alertness of the little boy "Derek Morgan, and I don't think I got your name either."

Damien smiled and replied "Damien Levy."

He nodded his head with a smile "Well it nice to meet you Damien, how about a high five instead of a hand shake?" Derek held up his hand and as soon as he did Damien replied by giving him a high five and a big smile.

"Derek are you Ms. Martins husband?" the little boy spoke out once again and this now earned the attention of all three adults in the living room. Desiree snickered with a smirk from the end of the room, while I looked down at Derek whom looked up at me with a smirk and that same smirk got transferred to Damien when he looked back down at him "No little man, I have not gotten the honor of earning that title yet."

I then decided to tease Derek and whispered in Damien`s ear a secret stamp of my approval as to when Derek would be in the running to become my husband. Damien gave an innocent smile and giggled at Derek.

"What, what did she say?" Derek asked with a smile playing along.

"She said you have to prove that you can be her husband." Damien confessed that smile still spread across his face.

Derek laughed in amusement and looked up at me with a smirk "Did she now?" he shook his head and looked back towards Damien "Well, maybe you`ll have to give me some pointers on how to do that, how does that sound?"

Damien shrugged his shoulder and smiled "Okay ill help!"

Derek laughed at the innocence of this little boy and knew he was something special, he looked down at his watch the back at Damien "Listen little guy, I know your not a fan of going to that place but we have to take you back, they are going to get worried and you can hide out here forever."

Damien sighed and looked down at the ground "Okay…"

"I promise you`ll be fine sweetie…" I lifted his chin from the ground and kissed his forehead "No worries ok?"

He simply nodded softly and jumped off my lap, running to the hallway closet to get his backpack. I turned to Desiree and sighed, running a hand through my hair, lord know I love that little boy, just like I love all my students but he needs to find a family, and I'm worried that a family will not want him due to who his father is and whom his other was. I want a good home and loving family for him but will that happen?

"How long was he here?" Derek turned his attention to his sister.

Desiree walked closer to us and looked at her watch "Oh a couple of hours already…" she paused and looked up at Derek "Child services called within the first half hour, you were listed as a contact and they figured they would call here first and when they did, I told them once you got home, you would bring him back."

I nodded and smiled softly "Thanks Des." Soon I felt a small tug on my pant leg, when I looked down I laughed softly at the big brown eyes looking up at me "You ready Damien?"

He shrugged his shoulders, obviously not happy to be leaving but he knew he had to comply and my heart broke for him, I just wanted to take him in my arms and hold him tight, keep him away from all harm but sadly I couldn't. A couple seconds of silence went by and then we all began to get ready to leave and walk out the door when I saw Damien stop Derek in his tracks, Derek leaned down to him "What`s up little man?"

Damien looked down at the ground, kicking his feet on the floor, almost nervous to ask Derek his question "W-Why cant I stay with Ms. Martins?"

Derek's head shot towards me and my eyes were full of heart ache and sympathy, he knew right away I couldn't answer that question, he did it for me, he looked back down at Damien and sighed "Damien you cant stay here forever, there is a family out there with a mommy and daddy looking for you."

"B-But what if I want Ms. Martins to be my mommy?"

My head then shot toward Damien and Derek's eyes shot towards me, we were both speechless, we had no idea what to say. I felt my body freeze in its current state and my mind racing with different images, ideas, and options, was this little boy asking me to adopt him? I can't answer this now, but what do I say to him, forget that, what is Derek going to say to him? This situation was just made ten times more complicated. I'm not sure what I would do, I mean adopting a child, as much as I love Damien, could I do it? Was I ready to be a mother? To a child who obviously went through so much and needed help? I`m not sure.

-The Next Morning-

**Nikki`s POV:**

I took a small sip of my piping hot coffee, watching the sunrise from my balcony, which led into the kitchen, and took in a deep breath letting the cool Chicago air graze my facial features. It was 5:00am Monday morning and I had just woken up and walked downstairs from my bedroom to make some coffee and I knew upon smelling it Derek would be up any minute, he decided to stay over last night after what happened with Damien he thought I could use the company. I was still unsure of what to do about Damien, he seemed to be so sure of what he wanted, it just scared me to be put in a child`s life whom so many people have already let him down…could I actually manage to adopt Damien Levy?

"Remember that May morning in college?" I heard a deep and suave voice coming from the sliding doors that led onto the balcony, one that I knew all too well.

I smiled softly, as I felt my cheeks heat up, I knew exactly what he was talking about "When my mom was away in Baltimore to visit my Aunt?" I spoke with a soft tone in my voice, almost as if the moment was too peaceful to speak any louder.

I felt him walk closer behind me and I swear I could even envision that boyish smile growing on his face "You woke up early and called me to come over because you wanted to watch the sunrise together, the stars were still out so we had a couple minutes before it started…" he trailed off

I bit my lower lip in thought and watched the purple and blue hues of the sun peeking through the night sky "When you got here you walked on the balcony, wrapped your arms around my waist and…" I paused and lifted my hand gently rubbing my neck, remembering where he had trailed his kisses, along my neck and down my shoulder blade, just the thought of that made me shiver, I cleared my throat and continued, I didn't want to show the effect these memories had on me. "And turned me around to face you and when I did you said – "

He cut me off in an instant and in that instant I felt strong, secure arms wrap around me waist, gently to not hurt my ribs still n pain from the aftermath of the abduction. "What did I ever do to deserve such a beautiful woman like you…" he finished for me whispering the sweet words in my ear.

I smiled and blushed softly at the memory as he turned me around slowly in his arms. My green eyes were now locked on his, our gaze was held for what felt like a lifetime but was only a couple seconds…I felt his hands slid up and down my sides as he spoke "And I still ask myself that same question."

I searched his eyes for sincerity and what I found was love, and passion, and hope. All the emotions I was hoping I would one day again see in Derek Morgan`s eye, standing in front of me. But can I really do this again? Can I really trust him with all my heart and soul and prepare myself for possible destruction.

Its as if he knew what I was thinking, as if he could read my mind and feel my deepest secrets and fears, because the next thing he asked me was not expected "Can you trust me? Can you give me that second chance I desperately want?" he whispered his eyes searching mine.

I sighed softly and looked down at the ground, unsure of my answer, I didn't know what to say, what to tell him, or even where to begin shutting down these walls I had put up in defense so many years ago. Can I trust him? I knew he noticed it had been a long while since I spoke and I felt him becoming unhopefully, he sighed and ran his hand up my arm, grazing my shoulder and toward my neck, where he moved his finger toward my chin and slowly lifted my gaze to meet his and when he did there was no denying the tears he saw glistening in my eyes, ready to fall "How can I be sure you wont give up the moment things get rough?"

He looked up in the sky as if hoping god would give him answers, and with a couple seconds passed he looked back down at me and asked "That same morning, right here where we stand, what else did I tell you?"

I bit the inside of my cheek in thought, thinking back to that day only brought butterflies to my stomach and passion coursing through my body, I sighed and shrugged "You told me a lot of things Derek." I stated, not exactly wanting to think about the events of that night, I turned back around to be facing the night sky and not him.

"No, no, no!" he took two steps forward grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him again "You think about every detail of that night and you tell me what I told you seconds after we made love on this damn balcony Nikki!" he exclaimed at this point upset because he knew I didn't want to talk about that night, that it would bring up too many emotions of who we were.

I closed my eyes as soon as the words _'we made love'_ slipped out of his mouth, it sent chills down my spine just thinking about it, the way we touched, the warm air of that May morning, the feeling of seclusion, as if we were the only two people in the world…I remember, of course I remember what he told me and my heart wanted me to say and believe every word of it right now but my mind was telling me that if I say those words and believe that any of them are true, this is real, this may be yet again starting over where we left off in college.

"Alright…" he spoke up now knowing that I was staying quiet with my thoughts "You don't want to say it, I will…" he backed me up between the railing on the balcony and flushed his body against mine, I gasped at the sudden vibe coming between us, it was lust and it was undeniable at this point.

"Baby if there is ever a moment where I am stupid enough to hurt you or bring you any pain, will be the moment I loose everything, it will be there moment where I will regret every one of my next steps until I make up for that pain and I need you to promise me that if I ever come close to that moment you will make me realize it and snap my ass back to reality because Nicole Martins I love you and even if I have to fight through hell and back, I am not letting you go." He finished with a firm tone in his voice, lust lacing through every fiber of his being, I could feel it, I could see it in his eyes, felt it in his heart and see it in his actions, it has been years since I seen this passion and only now I realize how much I missed it.

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and felt the hot tears rolling down my face, he just stared at me as if staring deep into my soul, I knew he was serious and I knew he was ready to take this relationship from where it started and make it real, make it last forever. His eyes, his actions and his words were making that all true. I bit my lower lip and gave him a soft yet seductive smile "You forgot something." I whispered

His eyes became more gentle and he looked a me with a bit of amusement and shock of my calm tone, when he said nothing I continued "What happened after that Derek?" I questioned my smile now fading and a lustful gleam in my eye.

He smiled softly, leaning his head down, inching his lips closer to mine, his hands traveling from my waist down to my hips, I felt my heart racing as his lips grazed on mine and finally I felt what my body was waiting for, I felt the warmth of his lips enclose on mine and take them captive as if he had been starved for years, the kiss was soft and gentle at first with sweet touches and caresses against mine and then turned into fierce, passion filled kisses, two sets of lips that had missed each others touch for years, I felt his hands grab onto my bottom and lift me from my spot, wrapping my legs around his waist, I tightened my legs around him and ran my hands up and over his chest, and upon reaching his neck I wrapped my arms around it, kissing him harder with all the passion I had built up inside me.

I felt him walk back through the sliding door and into the kitchen, he carried me through the kitchen to the living room where he gently laid me down on the couch as his body laid on top of mine, careful as to not put all his weight on me. We slowly pulled away from each other, my lips still aching with want yet numb from the intense kiss we shared. My eyes fluttered open and they met with his intense chocolate brown ones. He gave me that sexy signature smirk of his that I loved so much and whispered clearly out of breath "You know this changes everything baby?"

I nodded my head softly with a smile as my fingers still gently caressed around his neck.

He searched my eyes making sure I was sincere, while rubbing my cheek with the pad of his thumb "Baby, are you sure?"

I smiled and leaned up to him slowly placing my lips on his yet again, I kissed him slowly and softly, almost to reassure him. Seconds later I gently pulled away and laid my head back down on the pillow that was placed on the couch "Derek I missed you so much and these walls I've had up as defense for 8 years aren't working much because my love for you can never be hidden, so why hide it?" I paused with a smile "I trust you and I do want us to be together again."

He smiled and kissed my forehead softly and upon pulling away he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered "Good because I wasn't taking no for an answer, I'm not loosing you again baby."

-8:30am-

**Derek`s POV:**

I saw Nikki pop a grape in her mouth and smiled, I cant believe all this happened in two days, two days of being with her and I have her back I my life, these past few years it would run through my mind what it would be like to see her again, be with her, hold her, and be the man she comes home to every night and now I know, because I am him, I earned that title again and there is no way I am letting her go again. I think back to when I first entered the BAU, I cant even understand why I wouldn't give us a shot back then but now I know how wrong I was and all I want is what is in front of me right now, she is all that matters. It will take some time and some getting used to, being apart for long but I know we can make it work.

She peered up at my from her cup of fruit and blushed "What?"

I sighed content and leaned over in my seat at the airport restaurant "I just can't believe this is real."

She reached out and grabbed my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine "Derek, its real," I paused and chewed on my lower lip

"But-t-t-t?" he questioned

I raised a brow at him and laughed softly, how did he know there was a but? And yet again he surprises me by answering my unheard question. "I'm a profiler remember? Now spill!"

I looked down at the table with a small blush and then back up at him "Do you mind if we take it slow? I mean I know that we know everything about each other and we are starting over on the fiftieth date an all but-"

I soon cut her off with a chuckle of my own, she was so beautiful and even more so when she rambled on and on "Yes baby, we can, whatever you need."

She gave me a big and bright smile and leaned over the table place a soft kiss on my lips, I smirked against her lips, her kisses were so sweet at times and so passionate at others, I wanted to deepen the kiss and explore her lips more but the announcement at the gate screamed for my attention.

"FLIGHT B39, to Quantico, Virginia is now boarding!"

she sighed and sat back down in her seat "Well that's you baby."

I kept my eyes locked on her, that was the first time she had called me baby during this whole trip, that was the first sign of reconnection and I needed that desperately before getting on that plane. I lifted from my seat in the airport restaurant and held my hand out to help her up, she smiled up at me and accepted lifting herself up as well.

We walked up to the gate, walking side by side and I suddenly felt a small hand intertwine her fingers with mine. I knew she was upset I was leaving, she wanted to have the last bit of contact with me she could, knowing she didn't know the next time we would see each other would be, although in my heart I knew I couldn't let it go that long before I saw her again. I gave her hand a light squeeze of reassurance and smiled down at her.

"LAST CALL FLIGHT B39 to Quantico, Virginia!"

As we reached the gate, we faced each other and I reached out softly stroking her cheek, I could see the sadness in her eyes, but I did not want sadness to be the last emotion before I left. I kissed her lips softly and deeply and as I pulled away I whispered against them "Baby, I will try and be back as soon as I can."

I felt her hand squeeze mine and her eyes look up into mine, our faces still closer together "I Know." She whispered and gave me a smile "Just be safe for me and be that SSA I know you are."

I smirked and lifted her chin giving her one last kiss "You got that right baby."

She laughed softly and hit my chest playfully "Don't be too cocky now, I don't want all those other girls knowing how sexy you really are." She winked

I licked my lips amused at how she was playing with me "Oh believe me baby all my sexy is reserved for you."

She bit her lower lip and pulled my down, whispering in my ear "It better be cause all my sexy has been reserved for you all these years…" I paused and decided to tease him just before he boarded "Imagine when you find out what's been reserved for you."

I looked down at her in shock, my mouth agape and I was now finding it hard to breath and think strait, this girl knew exactly how to get me going, she knew what drove me crazy and she had all the right words to say. I smirked and shook my head as I handed my ticket at the gate with her beside me "Your evil, but uh…" I licked my lips "I will get you back, right when you least expect it."

"Oh you know you've missed it." She smirked as I turned to her "Okay baby, I have to board."

She nodded with a small smile "Okay be safe and call me when you land."

"Will do baby." I leaned down giving her one last kiss before turning away "Bye baby."

"Bye..." I heard her whispered with her hands shoved in her back pockets as I disappeared into the plane.

**Another Chapter down and soon another will be in the making. So what do you guys think? Nikki and Derek have now decided to give their relationship a second chance and start from where they left off in college, although Nikki wants to take it slow. What about Damien, will Nikki adopt him? How will this work when Derek arrives back at the FBI headquarters? Leave love and comments my talented writers :)**


	14. The Plan

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 14: The Plan

**Narrator`s POV:**

"You have to be quick and smart…" the gruff male voice spoke low yet firm to his partner across the table "There will be security and systems in the building, you need to focus on the intelligence you have gained."

The other black haired man nodded in response to him across the table "Don't worry, I know exactly what to do, I have this figured out."

The gruff male voice spoke again "This is very important to me and once you complete this task, you move on to plan B."

The black haired man nodded in agreement once again, it seemed as if they were keeping their voices low and very secretive, the guards around them, watching couldn't suspect a thing "Mark…I'm your brother, when have I ever let you down?"

The man now known as Mark smirked and rubbed his hands together "Good, then you will know not to start now."

The man identified as Mark`s brother looked around the prison visiting lounge and made sure guards were not close by, he needed to be aware of the surroundings he was in, one false move and the guards would be on Mark like white on rice, they get suspicious for any little thing. Mark`s brother was very cautious of this.

"Just keep under the radar like you have been the last few years and these pigs shouldn't have any reason to suspect you, they don't have any way of knowing your linking to me." And this statement that Mark said couldn't have been more true, Mark`s brother changed his identity about 4 years back due to car jacks and highway robberies he had committed, he moved to Canada from Chicago when the media and the FBI were on full alert of his crimes. Changing his name, address, and social security ensured that he wouldn't be found that easily.

Mark`s brother nodded and looked him strait in the eye, as if telling him he was committed to this plan "I will get you out brother and you will be with your son again."

"Good." Mark stated sure of his brothers words to him, he shifted in his seat and cleared his throat "You will execute on Plan A, in two days, you know what to do after that."

"And once plan B is executed?" Marks brother questioned.

Mark smirked menacingly "Damien will need a mother…" was all he said and that was enough for his brother to understand what he meant.

His brother smirked along with him and nodded "I will personally make sure she doesn't slip from your arms this time brother."

"It wont be easy with that protection she has with the whole BAU team now, seeing the way I left her last week, that scum Agent Derek Morgan will have her forever in his protection." Mark snarled

His brother reached over and padded his shoulder "Don't worry about it brother, we will take care of it, don't…you…worry." He replied as he lifted off his chair in the prison visiting area and looked down at his brother "You will know once plan A is executed and the next night after plan B will be coming down full force."

Mark nodded in understanding, and said his goodbyes to his brother as he walked out of the prison, Mark sat there for a couple of second before he felt the officer ask him to put his hands behind his back and handcuffed him, lifting him off the chair to take him back to his cell.

**Nikki`s POV:**

I came to a quick stop in front of my door, searching for my keys out of breath. It was a very chilly morning in Chicago today and having just finished my 2 mile run around my neighborhood, I wanted to quickly get inside and take a long shower before I had to get ready for work. My finger found the key to my lock and I quickly opened the door stepping inside, and upon walking inside the house I slipped off my sneakers ready to head upstairs for a long shower when my phone began blasting its ringtone.

I looked down at my running watch and saw it was already 6:30am; I slowly jogged to where my phone was charging on the end table in the living room and glanced at the caller I.D. _Derek_.

I smiled and bit my lower lip softly, I had been waiting to hear his voice every since we got off the phone yesterday afternoon when he called to tell me he had gotten to Quantico safely, he was probably on his way to work right now, or maybe getting ready. I quickly cut myself from my thoughts and slid my finger on my touch screen phone to answer it.

"Well Good Morning my hot chocolate agent!" I said with a smirk and a small hint of blush creeping up in my cheeks, I was still not used to using pet names on him, being that we just decided to start fresh only a day ago, I was still kind of shy around him which was strange since we were together all through college.

"Mmm, you know I love to hear that beautiful voice in the morning." He replied back to me with a playful tone in his voice, right now I could envision the boyish grin he had on his face.

"Oh yeah, could have fooled me." I teased.

He chuckled softly through the phone "Oh come on now baby, how could you doubt me?"

I smirked and took a seat on the couch "Are you getting ready for work?"

"Yeah, I actually just go up and I just wanted to take the chance to call you and hear that oh so sexy voice."

I laughed and shook my head "Mhmm, I forgot how much of a sweet talker you could be Agent Morgan."

I could feel him smirking through the phone "You like calling me Agent, don't you?"

My breath caught in my throat and my cheeks reddened, he was going to try and tease me now and I knew it was coming "And if I'm not mistake, which I'm sure I'm not…" he paused and began again "Your blushing right about now."

I bit my lower lip and changed the subject "I never said I liked calling you agent, I just…I…" I froze; I had no comeback, shit.

He laughed softly knowing I was stuck "Hey baby, if it makes you feel any better, I love when you call me that."

I sighed and gave an amused laugh, "Mhmm, just make sure im the only one you love when I call you Agent Derek Morgan…" I said the last words seductively.

"Aye girl, don't you be doing that to me, I need to leave for work and I don't need everyone knowing what you do to me."

I smirked and rolled my eyes "Oh I'm sure they already know." I paused "You know I have Prentiss and J.J on speed dial already."

He paused quickly and gave a loud laugh "Baby, don't you be saying nothing now, I will never hear the end of it from those two!"

"Have a great day at work baby, I will take to you soon…" I cooed with a laugh trying to get away from him on the phone.

"Nikki, don't you dare, if you hang up on me…"

I giggled and covered my mouth with my hand "Oh I'm sure you`ll find a way to get back at me…byeee hunnie."

All I heard was "Nikki!" before I ended the call. I smiled brightly to myself, I loved playing games with him, as if I was going to talk to Prentiss or J.J about our personal life, I loved connecting with them in the SUV, but I have yet to become close to them, they were such great girls and I would love to get to know them better.

I took a turn on the corner and jogged up the stairs, walking into my bedroom, which was connected to my bathroom. I removed my jacket and my tank top, as I looked at myself in the mirror I noticed the bruising on my ribs were nearly gone and didn't hurt much at all, the cut on my lip was clearing up and no longer swollen and the cut on my forehead was hidden by my hair line but still a bit visible, but nothing I couldn't handle. I smiled and thought to myself_** 'god doesn't give you anything you can't handle' **_and this was something I could handle and I did, thankfully everyday that Derek was here to save my life.

As soon as I was about to remove my other articles of clothing I heard a whistle coming from my phone, alerting my that a text message had come through to me, I walked over to my bedside counter where I had laid my phone after talking to Derek and smiled at whom the text was from.

_Derek: Baby you have no idea how much trouble you are in…But your lucky you so damn gorgeous or I wouldn't let this go LOL. Have a great day baby, and be safe getting to work. _

My smile got bigger and I giggled typing in a response to him.

_Nikki: Let it go? I don't think you have let it go, in fact you may even walk into work and ask Prentiss and J.J if I have spoken to them. Thank you baby, ill tell Damien you said Hi._

Seconds later another whistle came in, it seemed as if I was never going to get to my shower, I laughed and shook my head glancing at the text

_Derek: Its scary that you know me that well…or have I just been rubbing off on you and your starting to know too much about profiling?_

I laughed to myself and decided on texting him back once I finished getting ready for work, I'm never late and I knew I wasn't going to start now. I ran over to my bathroom and discarded all my clothing, stepping into the warm water.

-3:00 That Afternoon-

"So for your homework, I want each of you guys to draw me one thing in the shape of a circle, a rectangle, and a square." I finished as I drew each of the shapes on the board.

"Like a apple?" I heard a small voice shout from my right hand corner.

I smiled dusting the chalk off my hands and turning to where the voice came from "That's correct, but next time I want to see that hand raised ok ?" I questioned with a smirk on my face and my arms crossed over my chest.

"Sorry …" I heard the little girl apologize with a hint of blush on her cheeks.

I shook my head and laughed softly walked over to my desk "Ok so before we pack up and leave, I want you to come up and place all your cut-outs on my desk and they should all have your names on them, right?"

Soon I heard a chant from the entire classroom "Yesss."

I smiled and sat down on my chair getting my purse ready for the end of the day. "Alright, so when everyone is ready we can start headin outside." Class was always finished at 3:00 but going over for a couples minutes never hurt, she just needed time to go over the homework with the classroom before she actually let them leave, they were such an intelligent group of kids and she loved working with them.

Minutes later all cut-outs had been handed in and palced on my desk, I turned my wrist over and looked at my watch, only 5 minutes late. I began leading the kids out of the classroom to where their parents would be picking them up outside in the assigned area. Little feet ran to their mothers and backpacks jumped up and down in the backs as a consequences of the running. I smiled watching as all the kids hugged their moms tightly as if they hadnt seen them in days and missed them so much. I bit my lower lip thinking to myself this could have been me, its like I yearn for it, like I have mother instinct inside of thought came to my mind about adopting Damien and it made my smile brightly, that little bot was a pure angel and he always made me so happy during class time, he would be the perfect son, I don't know how our connection got so strong but it did, and what Derek says is true…I do have a different attachment with Damien , he`s different than my other students, I seem more preoccupied and involved with his life, could I possiably be saying yes to making him my son? I bit my lip and smiled with that last thought. On that last thought I pulled my bag higher on my shoulder and as I was about to grab my car keys from my purse my phone suddenly began to vibrate, looking at the caller I.D. I was surprised but yet I smiled.

"Hello?" I answered casually, walking to my car in the process.

"Hey there stranger!" I heard the familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

I laughed softly "Hey Emily! How Are you? Are you busy, working on a case?"

She sighed and I could hear the relaxation in her voice "Well today is a surprisingly slow day at the BAU, which is an extreamly rare thing, so I wanted to call and see how you were doing.." she trailed off

I smiled at her care towards me, in the small amount of time I knew Emily Prentiss, it was as if she was very protective of me, almost as if she was a mother figure. "Wellll…I`m doing great! I actually just got off of work and Im going to stop by and see Dessire, she`s remodeling her apartment and supposedly needs my help."

I could almost vision Emily smirking over the phone "Being on the topic of Derek…" she began "I have never seen him in such a good mood, what did you do to him, inject his system with happy pills?"

The thought that Emily just placed in my head made me giggle "We just…uhm…reconnected I guess…" I lied while bitting my lip.

"Stop biting your lip and stop beating around the bushes about what really happened." She replied with a firm tone of voice.

Pouting out my lip, I sighed and responded "I hate profilers…" then continued "And nothing "really" happened."

"Mhmm…" she hummed "So tell me this if nothing happened why is it I hear a different tone in your voice?"

I bit the inside of my cheek thinking of a response, all these awnser keep going through my head but none of them seemed right, it seemed like she wouldn't believe me anyways, how could I even keep anything from her, she was worse than Derek, she was a profiler and now one of my girl friends, that was not a good combination for hiding something. Apparently I took too long because when I didn't awnser she spoke up…

"You kissed him didn't you?"

"Well, technically he kissed me first but…" I gasped shocked I just reveled the truth "I mean…!"

"I knew it!" she laughed "Hunnie, you don't have to hide it, we were going to know sooner or later."

I shrugged and sat in the drivers side of my car, turning on the ignition "I wasn't really I just was not sure what Derek was telling you guys, if he was telling you anything…" I took a breathe and continued "I mean we talked about starting over, starting fresh but I didnt know if he wanted to tell you guys himself or…" Emily then soon cut me off…

"Nikki!" she laughed "Quit rambling your starting to sound like Spencer!" she laughed once more which in turn made me chuck out a little giggle "Derek hasn't said anything yet but im sure he will, don't worry."

"I know, and honestly I cant say how happy I am…and nervous…and scared."

Emily sighed on the other line "Nikki, belive me he lost you once he will not risk that again, knowing the consequences…" she paused and continued "And if he does me J.J, and Garcia will personally take it into our own hands and beat him to shreads!"

I laughed softly and switched the conversation on a different note "Ya know, I have yet to meet Garcia, I honestly cant wait."

"Oh she`s a trip, definitely unique." She replied with a chuckle and I could hear her take a sip of her drink "Are you going to be coming to visit here in Quantico?"

I smiled at the thought and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel "Yeah…Yeah, I just might."

Me and Emily stayed on the phone talking for quite a while and in that process, the phone got passed over from her to J.J and the from J.J to Garcia, I finally got to personally speak to Garcia over the phone, she seemed like such a vibrant and sweet girl, someone I can very much see myself being best friends with…while on the topic of best friends, I stayed on the phone for about an hour getting passed off from team member to team member, before I had to hang up and begin my drive to Dessire`s house, however I did have one more stop in mind that made my heart clench.

I wanted to stop at Child Sevices and see Damien, I wanted him to know that I was still always there for him and by any means didn't forget about him, so on the way over I called Desiree and told her I would be running a few minutes late, which she didn't seem to mind at all, she was beginning to move things without me but she quickly informed me that there would still be more to do. Thinking about her moving things around her apartment and remodeling made me laugh, Desiree was so petite and had little strength, for her to be moving such big things by herself was quit a show, a show that I was missing the beginning of.

I did get the chance to go and see Damien for about an hour or so, play with him, read to him and overall spend some time with him and the more time I did spend with him the more my heart melted for him, the more I just wanted to spin him around in my arms, but then another thought came to my mind, what would Derek think about me adopting him? Would he agree and still be there for me? Or would he think I was crazy and go against it? It doesn't sound like him to do something like that though, I think this is something I need to talk over with Derek much more in detail.

Regardless any time I spent with Damien was always a good time and to be totally honest I did love that little boy and he deserved that, to be loved and taken care of the right way by good parents. All these thoughts were racing through my mind as I drove to Denisse`s house from the Child Services, that and seeing Derek again, oh how much I missed him already, I couldn't deny that love I had for that man and I also cant deny that I was scared but lord knows I did trust him, but in the back of my mind I was wondering when he was going to tell people about us and what the status of "us" would exactly be and the more I thought of these things, the more it made me want to go surprise him in Quantico, Emily was right.

**It seems as if Nikki is considering more and more adopting Damien, however is Damien in danger? Will Nikki be taking on a lot more than she had asked for. Being back at the BAU will Derek have told everyone of his and Nikki`s newly refreshed relationship, will she be surprising him and will he be delighted? Comments and thoughts my beauties! :)**


	15. Surprise?

**DISCLAIMER: I dont NOT own Derek Morgan or any of the BAU team, I ONLY OWN Nikki, Mary King, Lisa Levy, Mark Levy, and Victors Law Firm! Criminals Minds is a TV Series and I do not own any of it, I simply use it for inspiration.**

**NOTE: Italicized are dreams and/or flashbacks. Bold and italicized words are thoughts from certain characters.**

Chapter 15: Surprise?

-Friday Late Night-

**Derek`s POV:**

"Nothing like taking down two serial killers to wipe you out for the night." J.J commented sarcastically walking through the FBI headquarters.

Prentiss laughed with sarcasm dripping in her voice as well "Oh yeah for a whole week of good sleep we need to take down four or more."

"I say we get to it then…" Rossi commented following not too far behind from the two girls.

"You know, Rossi, you never told me how Italy was?" I questioned walking side by side with the older Italian agent.

He sighed and glanced over at me "How it is ever?" he questioned metaphorically "Filled with too many relatives."

His answer made me laugh, leave up to Rossi to turn a vacation into something its not, he was always the type that would rather be at work doing something valuable with his time than sitting down relaxing doing nothing.

We made it into the elevator and took it strait to the BAU offices floor. I heard Rossi comment to the whole group as the elevator started up "Shouldn't we just go strait to our car?"

"Gut feeling telling you of a new case?" Prentiss commented unenthusiastically.

"There always is…" J.J shook her head with a tired smile.

Rossi sighed and exclaimed, "I am not going on another case, I am turning around and going strait home."

"As if it were that easy…" I smirked as the elevator doors opened making a ding. We all walked out the elevators together and thorough the BAU glass doors and as soon as we did imagine our surprise when we saw Erin Strauss standing there with a sympathetic look on our face.

I heard Rossi take a deep breath and let it out "I told you we should have just gone to our cars." He stated, which earned halfhearted laughs from the group of us.

"Please don't tell me there is a new case?" Prentiss questioned with her hands on her hips, watching Strauss` facial expressions.

"Isn`t there always?" Strauss questioned with a small smile. "However…I do need you all to spend a night in your own beds."

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Rossi turned and walked out the doors, making it to the elevators in seconds.

"Yeah, I'm going!" J.J replied right behind him

And then Prentiss right behind her "I`m not staying."

Spencer just waved us off and smiled. I just gave a slight nod toward Erin Strauss and she smiled walking passed me, allowing me to see the blonde tech analysts behind her "Your not gone yet baby girl?" I questioned her.

"I was just about to get going but I wanted to see how you were doing?" she walked closer to me and sat on the edge of Prentiss` desk.

"Took down two serial killers who killed three families?" I stated with a sigh "It's a bittersweet feeling, that last family…" he began "We could have saved them, only two minutes earlier…"

"You know you can`t do that to yourself my chocolate Adonis."

I shook my head at her pet names and looked up at the ceiling and then back down towards her "Yeah but knowing that makes me feel no better."

When I looked at her I saw that a smile crept up on her lips, I raised a brow, confusion setting in, what could be making her smile in this situation? "What are you smiling about?"

Garcia opened her mouth to say something but hesitated as if not knowing what to say "Uhmm-" she paused and looked down then back up at me "I-I just thought your night may pick up." Her smile now turned to a smirk trying not to laugh.

I put one hand on my hip with my brow still raised "Garcia…" he paused "Do you know something?"

_-Flashback, Earlier that Morning-_

_Garcia's POV:_

"_Ugh!" I exclaimed at I slammed my car door closed with my leg, trying to juggling both paperwork and files in one hand and coffee in the other. I looked down at myself to make sure my new outfit was untouched by any dirt stains or possible coffee spills I hadn't noticed. I smiled pleased that my pink tweed dress was untouched. Coming into work early was no piece of cake, I had only 2 hours of sleep and it wasn't exactly slept when you were ta your desk waiting for your team to call you, the whole team was still on a case in New Mexico and only at 4am did I get to go home, shower, get changed and grab some coffee in order to be back in by 6am to help them finish off this case, who new when they were coming home but my only hopes were that they were coming home safe and in one piece. _

_All while I was thinking of this and juggling my items, I looked up and saw a female figure coming out of a yellow taxi cab, she seemed to look familiar, her body type was something I have seen before, was she looking for one of the agents in particular? Why was she here? I decided to move closer to her and saw from behind she was wearing some tight skinny jeans with knee high heeled boots and a black and white hooded cardigan sweater. She must have heard me coming because she quickly turned around at the click of my heels and opened her mouth to speak but before she could, I already knew whom I was in the presence of…_

"_Nikki?!"_

_She smiled softly and shrugged her shoulders "I guess I didn't have much of a disguise going on." She joked _

_I smiled brightly at her jokes and walked even closer to her "I'm Penelope, Penelope Garcia."_

"_Oh finally its so great to meet you!" she smiled even bigger however reached out her hands to me "God let me help you." She laughed softly and began to grab my stack of files. _

"_Oh god thank you, I thought my arms were going to break before I could get to the office."_

"_I know the feeling." She commented and began walking side by side with me, I looked over me and curiosity hit "SO what brings you here?"_

_She looked over at me with a nervous laugh and then back at the ground and back at me, her actions gave away her whole thought process, I knew exactly why she was here and I'm sure Morgan had no idea. "You're here to surprise Derek, aren't you?"_

_She blushed and laughed once again nervously "Guilty as charged."_

_I left my mouth agape with and huge smile "He`s going to love that you're here!" I began as we walked into the FBI headquarters, heading strait for the elevators._

_I swiped my I.D card and the doors to the elevators opened, I walked in with Nikki trailing behind me and continued "Well you know they are on a case in New Mexico right now, right?"_

_She nodded her head and smiled "Well yeah…"_

_I soon became confused, then what was she doing showing up here, shouldn't she be going to surprise him at his house? "Not to sound mean or anything, but what are you –"_

_Before I could finish my sentence she looked over at my and bit her lip "Well, I came here because I was hoping to find someone to help me surprise him and that someone was actually you!" _

_I smiled brightly once again "Seriously? Well do you have anything in mind?"_

"_No, I`m actually really nervous because I don't want him to be upset that I came here without telling him and I'm not exactly sure how much he would want me to do that, all I know is I had to see him, I missed him and I was hoping he missed me as much."_

_I smiled sweetly, listening to her sympathetically, I knew Derek was dying to see her, there was no doubt in my mind that he would be ecstatic, and I had also made up my mind that we were going to plan the a great surprise for him and in the process I would get to know this great girl even more. It was my plan to get to know my best friends 'love of his life' and the girl whom he let slip through his fingers. _

"_We have to get started." I smiled as the elevator dinged to the floor of the BAU "However…" I added "Morgan will be calling me and others from the team, we will also be video conferencing, so you have to make sure you are not heard or seen by them to make this a perfect surprise, and it may take a bit longer because I am going to have to work through our planning."_

_She smiled and shrugged her shoulders "That's fine, I knew you would be working and by any means I didn't want to bother you."_

_I turned to face her as we reached the BAU`s floor "Oh there is no bother here sweetheart."_

_-End Flashback-_

**Derek`s POV: **

She shook her head from the memories of earlier that morning and shrugged her shoulders "Oh not at all, I am just saying, the night is still young."

"Right…" I was still certain she was lying but I had to shake off that feeling, I was too tired at the moment to be wondering "You want to walk out with me?" I questioned not wanting to leave her alone, especially with all the cases we have seen, waling to her car alone is never the best idea.

"Yeah sure…" she smiled grabbing her bag from the floor on the side of her and placing it on her shoulder.

We both walked out side by side, we sat in silence until reaching the elevator when Penelope spoke "Hey, How`s Nikki?"

My heart leapt at her name as her face came to my mind; I gave a small smirk "I spoke to her recently, she doing good."

"I imagine she misses you." Garcia smiled, and her smile was suspicious

"I wanted to go visit her this weekend, but with this new case coming tomorrow."

The elevator doors opened and she responded, "Ah but you are forgetting that silver lining darling."

I raised a brow as the elevator door closed behind us "What silver lining?"

"Oh there is always a silver lining my sweet." Garcia smiled and placed a hand on her hip with a face that was determined to say no more words than that.

Later that night, after trying to get any information out of Garcia as I could, which wasn't successful, I parked outside my house and let out a long sigh, finally home and I could wait to get in my bed and hear the voice of my beautiful woman. I smiled softly just thinking about her. I got out of the car and closed my door, flipping my phone open and looking at the time. 1:00am. I didn't have to be at work until 10:00, Hotch had us coming in later which I was thankful for, we need some more time to sleep. With my phone already flipped open, I dialed a number I came to know all to well and on the first ring I got the soft sweet voice greeting me on the other end of the phone.

"You know I was just thinking about you Agent Morgan." Nikki`s sweet voice purred over the phone.

I smirked and walked up the steps of my porch "Oh yeah?" I licked my lips in amusement "Care to share your thoughts?"

She sighed and from her sigh I can tell she was content to be hearing my voice "I miss you…" was all she said.

There were really no more words needed those three words explained just how much she wanted to be near me and lord know all I wanted to do was have her soft skin wrapped around me, the thought just brought chills up and down my spine "Oh baby is there anything I can do to make it feel like I'm any closer to you?"

She hummed into the phone as if in thought "How about you open the front door already?"

I froze in my spot, my keys in my hand as I was about to slid them into the key hole "Woman, now how did you know I was at the front door?"

I heard her small laugh and I could envision that smirk playing on her lips, the one that made me want to bit her bottom lip and capture her in a kiss "Do you not remember how intuitive I am?" she questioned however did not wait for me to respond as she continued "Or maybe its just that in the past week or so you`ve rubbed off on me so well, SSA Derek Morgan." She purred once again.

I smirked and turned the knob on the door pushing it open and turning on the lights "Baby you need to stop talking to me like that, you know what that does to me?"

"I can imagine…" was all she said before I heard the creak of a door upstairs, I quickly put my hand on my right hip, readying my gun.

I froze, was someone in the house? I whispered into the phone "Nikki, you need to hang on a minute, I think there someone in my house."

Before she could say another word I put the phone down on the coffee table in the living room and began walking cautiously up the stairs, making sure every one of my movements were quiet and didn't draw much attention, and just as I reached the top o the stairs, I heard it…

"Baby, are you really that scared of me that you need to bring your gun into this?" I heard before seeing a small figure come from behind the bedroom door that was opened. It was Nikki, there she was standing in front of me, her dark hair falling slightly into her face, where a smirk laid upon her lips, I slowly began to lower my gun in shock, shock that she was there in front of me, I couldn't believe it, she was here and she looked so…beautiful.

I snapped out of my daze as she laughed softly, I sighed and shook my head not too amused by the situation, I could have really hurt her, what if I had shot my gun without knowing? "Good God baby, I could have shot you!"

She pushed her hair back away from her face and her green eyes shown in the hallway light, she smiled softly "I announced myself before you got any closer, I knew you had the gun on you."

I sighed and placed my gun back in it holster still upset at the situation "That was still dangerous, something could have gone wrong with this plan."

She bit her lower lip and looked down almost upset her plan backfired on her, I had a feeling she felt horrible now for upsetting me instead of surprising me, I sighed and walked closer to her, I reached out and gently lifted her chin for her beautiful eyes to meet mine, there was sincere regret in her eyes and I automatically felt a ping of hurt in my gut, I really didn't want to hurt her feeling r have her surprise for me go awry. I smiled softly and kept my gaze held onto hers as I stepped even closer to her, our bodies slightly grazing up against each other.

"Hey…" I whispered, gaining her attention "you have no idea how happy I am to see you here," I paused and then saw her frown turn into a slight smile "I love this surprise baby."

I felt her hands find there way to my chest and she slowly ran them up and around my neck "So then when were you planning on kissing me tonight?"

I laughed softly, seeing a gleam in her eye, a hint of want and need "Do I have to kiss you?" I squinted my eyes in question "I mean it wasn't that good of a surprise." my playfully tone of voice evident.

She laughed and gasped in shock "Oh really? I guess ill just go then." She stated and turned away from me, beginning to walk down the stairs.

I laughed whole heartedly and reached out grabbing her wrist "Oh no you don't! Come here gorgeous!" I spun her body right back into mine with a huge smile playing on my lips "Your…not…going…anywhere!" I exclaimed my smile now turning into a smirk as I lifted her off the ground and carried her into my bedroom. I heard her squeal as I picked her up and burst into a fit of laughter as I dropped her down on my bed.

I laid on top of her, gently as not to crush her and laughed along with her, she ran her hands up and down my arms and smiled "You know, I missed this…"

I leaned down grazing my lips against hers and kissed her softly and passionately, I felt her give off a soft moan in the midst of the kiss, slowly pulling away and looking down at her "I missed everything baby…"

I laid on my side, allowing her to move freely, she came closer and turned her back to me snuggling her back right into my chest and in response I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck softly, trailing kisses down her collar bone, I was so content and happy having her in my arms, feeling her body conform so well against mine, we were one again, just like in college and I felt it, I felt her happiness, and her love, I felt it as if it were 8 years ago.

"Derek…" she spoke softly

"Yeah baby?" I kissed the back of her ear, and when I did she gave a soft moan and laced her fingers around mine on her waist, I knew that was a soft spot for her and apparently that had not changed.

"What did you tell everyone at work about us?"

I knew this question was going to come up sooner or later and I also knew she thought I wouldn't have said anything to nobody about it and I wanted to keep it a secret awhile longer, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I smirked and whispered in her ear "Every single person I work with has been told that I am renewing my relationship with you baby…" she turned around in my arms now facing me with a small smile.

"What did you tell them?" she questioned with a hint of amusement in her voice.

I sighed and pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear "How much I cared about you, our history, and how stupid and selfish I was leaving you eight years ago, and that I was not going to make that same mistake, I wanted to be with you for good this time."

I searched her eyes, looking deep into her green orbs and I could swear I saw tear wanting to spring out, I leaned down, leaning my forehead against hers "Can I confess something to you Nikki?" I whispered inches away from her lips.

She simply nodded and closed her eyes, feeling our connection; I licked my lips and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat "I Love you…I Never stopped."

Her eyes shot open and if tears weren't evident before, they sure were now, she gave a small gasp and searched my eyes desperately, needing to know if I was sincere, she smiled in realization and forcefully pressed her lips onto mine, hungrily nipping at them, kissing my passionately with force and almost every emotion she had in her. I smiled against her lips and pulled away softly as the need for air was consuming me, I breathed deeply and held her face in my hands "Wooo Wooo baby girl, you need to calm down." I gave a chuckle.

"I love you Derek…so much!" she exclaimed still breathing heavily, as heavily as me from the last kiss we just shared.

I smiled with another small chuckle "Yeah…Yeah I got that baby girl."

She bit her lip and looked down at the bed sheet, averting her face from mine to hide her blush.

"You wouldn't happen to be hiding that beautiful face now would you?" I questioned intertwining her fingers in mine.

She then looked back up at me and there was still a hint of evident blush, I felt myself smile for probably the fiftieth time that night, I couldn't help but smile every second I was around this woman, she made me feel so happy, so different, so complete, she made me want to strive to be a better person. I leaned over and kissed her forehead gently "Baby, I hate to cut our moment short but I think I need to get some sleep for tomorrows case…" I paused and explained "We have one first thing at 10 am."

She nodded understandingly and kissed my lips softly, almost angelically "Yes I know baby, Garcia told me, I'm actually picking up coffee for the four of us tomorrow."

I raised a brow, she`s already becoming a part of the group being here one day? Just like her, leave it to Nikki to make friends immediately and become part of a family knit environment. "Four of you?"

She laughed softly "Yes, me Garcia, Emily, and J.J are all going in around 9am to share some coffee together and chit chat awhile before getting to work on the case." She paused and when she saw the still confused look on my face she explained more "J.J had to go in early anyway to get a head start on the case so she just asked that I join them in the morning for some coffee, I will be out by ten once you guys need to start discussing it."

I nodded softly with a smile and lifted myself off the bed, needing to get changed before actually getting some rest "I`m so happy you guys are getting along so well, please don't let those girls rub off on you too much!" I raised a brow with a smirk.

She laughed and laid her head back on the pillow, and gave me a questioning look when I was stood up from the bed "Where you going?" she asked curiously

"I need to change before bed sweetheart."

She bit her lower lip and rested her elbow on the bed beneath her with her head resting on her palm "Need some help?"

I discarded my shirt, revealing my naked upper body to her and walked back over to the edge of the bed, leaning over gazing at the look in her eye and if I wasn't mistake there was a full look of lust. I took her lips and captured them with mine, kissing her deeply and passionately, her mouth allowing my tongue entrance and our tongue battling each other for dominance. I took a deep breath pulling away for air and leaned my forehead against hers.

"Baby, if you help me and we start something, I wont be able to stop…" I whispered "and I know you want to take this slow, so as much as I would love for you to help me baby, I don't think it's a good idea…" I gazed seductively into her eyes and slowly pulled away.

**Seems like Derek and Nikki are feeling just as comfortable in each others arms as they did 8 years ago and Nikki is feeling more and more apart of the team with Garica`s help on the surprise and Prentiss` advice! But is there something lurking in the shadows without their knowledge? is something going to happen in the near future and what does Damien have to do with it? Read and Review my lovely writers! :)**


End file.
